


Sweet Sweet Home(work)

by TheBeautifulLove



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Boy Mark Lee (NCT), Bullying, Internalized Homophobia, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mark is part of school gang, Poor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Rich Mark Lee (NCT), Romance, Slow Burn, Swearing, Top Student Lee Donghyuck, Violence, he's not really that bad inside, only a bit?, oooh this is a tag??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23436580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautifulLove/pseuds/TheBeautifulLove
Summary: Mark Lee is rich, Mark Lee is powerful.If Mark Lee comes up to you one day and tells you to come every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to his house and do his homework for him, you don't say "no". Unless you want the rest of your school life to be hell.Lee Donghyuck just wants to protect himself, his friends and graduate in peace.But as spring turns into a hot summer, it might not exactly be the end. It feels a lot like a new beginning...
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le, possible other pairings, taeyong/science teacher
Comments: 137
Kudos: 786





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> So, another markhyuck. It will have a few chapters, this is the first part.  
> Hopefully it's interesting to read! I wanted to try this kind of trait.  
> Comments and kudos are loved a lot!  
> xxx

He sighs and looks towards the window. The weather is so nice today, already mid-April. He could be with his friends right now eating something delicious or drinking coffee but instead he’s by himself in someone else’s house, sat at a ridiculously expensive wooden desk, books and notebooks splayed in front of him. 

It’s Friday now; it’s the third time he’s spending his free time after school in this very room. He’s gotten used to the comfortable red chair and the faint smell of something woody, something luxurious in the air. 

He’s thirsty and he’s getting hungry too but the owner of the room is not here, just like the other two times, so he just turns his attention back to the books, he picks up the pen and scrunches his brows in concentration. 

Not long to go. 

He sighs to himself hopelessly, glancing down at his watch. Ten more minutes and he’s not even anywhere near finished yet. He bites his lower lip and begins to write furiously again. He’s smart enough to wing it, make up something that will get Mark Lee a good enough grade so the other is satisfied enough but it’s not his best, he knows that but the other would be really an idiot to expect anything more than that in an hour. 

In a few minutes, the older will surely appear and Donghyuck looks down at the now finished work. The ugly handwriting which he tries to make look like Mark’s but sometimes his brain gets so caught up in it all that he forgets, shifting back to his own style unconsciously. Their handwriting is completely different though and that is only one amongst the many things that separate them - from social status through personality, even up to something as trivial as physical appearance. 

Donghyuck scans the work again for any possible mistakes and releases a relieved breath when there seems to be none this time. No apparent spelling or grammar mistakes but... He hisses a little unhappily. Yet again, the page full of text ends up looking like a visual representation of a severe case of bipolar disorder. 

There’s nothing he can do about it now though. 

As if on cue, the door to the room opens and Donghyuck unconsciously holds his breath for some reason. In theory, he knows Mark won’t do anything to him or his friends as long as he keeps doing the damned homework but still, every time there are those same doubts and worries swimming in his head at the mere thought of the older boy. 

A new, now familiarly sweet smell wafts through the air and he turns around expecting Mark to be dressed in casual clothes, fresh after the shower. Yet the sight that meets him is the elder boy in a black suit, looking super smart. 

‘What are you staring at?’ Mark asks with slightly narrowed eyes when Donghyuck just sits there, motionless. ‘Finished?’ 

‘And if I’m not?’ The brown-haired boy challenges quietly and hates how his voice shakes a little despite his best efforts. 

Mark just snickers at him. ‘If you’re not? Hm... You see I won’t be very happy if you’re not and I might get a little mad.’ He takes a step forward and Donghyuck instinctively leans back in the chair until his side meets the hard edge of the desk painfully. ‘You don’t want to make me mad, trust me.’ 

The younger holds out the notebook out to him with both hands. ‘Here. It's done.’ 

The owner takes back his possession. Donghyuck is now looking down at the floor, at both pairs of their shoes – Mark’s shiny dress shoes and his own two-year-old ragged Converse highs. 

Mark leans in even closer to him then, his lips not far from the younger’s ear. ‘Good boy.’ He whispers in that low voice of his then moves away quickly. ‘Now leave.’ 

Donghyuck stands there by the desk, stunned and confused for few seconds, wondering what happened to the peaceful, safe high-school life he’s had until now. How did it all get so messy? 

‘What the fuck are you waiting for?’ The voice is cold, the gaze is piercing. 

Donghyuck grabs his back pack and jacket from the king-sized bed quickly and leaves the room. Only when he hears the distinctive click of the door being shut, he lets out a deep breath he was holding. 

On the way out he meets a maid he hasn’t seen before and he greets her politely. She smiles and waves from across the room where she’s dusting the shelves. 

On the way home, Donghyuck wonders how it all happened. How did his peaceful school life turn out like this? Why him? What has he done wrong? 

The truth is that in the end it could have been anyone. Donghyuck supposes he’s just unlucky. 

Of course, he could refuse Mark Lee but it’s too risky. There were many cases of abuse and bullying because of standing up to the members of the gang. Donghyuck just doesn’t want to get on the bad side of them and risk the others making the rest of his school experience a living hell in vengeance; or the fact that there has been people that have even transferred to different schools just because of the black-haired boy and his friends’ torment and Donghyuck doesn’t have the money, energy or time for that. 

So, that’s how despite his fiery personality, very well known amongst his closest friends, one of the top students of the school - Lee Donghyuck - ends up spending some of his precious afternoons doing Mark Lee’s homework. Yes, Mark Lee and not Lee Mark like a normal Korean person because he’s apparently lived in Canada for a few years. Apparently, he’s all cool like that. 

The tanned boy rolls his eyes to himself at the mere thought. Mark Lee is not cool, he is nothing but a spoiled, rich, cocky asshole. 

*** 

‘Okay, one time is not a big deal, two is suspicious and three is a pattern.’ Renjun begins when they sit down for lunch at the second and last break of the day. Donghyuck looks up at his friend, confused. ‘Where do you keep disappearing off to, every other day after school?’ 

Completely unprepared for that question, Donghyuck fumbles nervously with the plastic packaging of his cheese sandwich. ‘Why? Do you miss me that much, Injun?’ 

‘No, of course not but I’m just curious why you’re suddenly never there. We used to walk home together every day for years now. I’m tired of your crappy excuses, Hyuck.’ 

“It’s not really up to me anymore,” echoes in Donghyuck’s mind but he stays quiet, biting into the sandwich in his hands. Renjun watches him carefully, waiting for a reason and the older knows he can’t give him the real one. 

‘I joined a new club and it’s so new they don’t have a proper time slot yet, so the meetings are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays right after classes for now until they sort it out.’ He lies quickly after he swallows the contents of his mouth. 

‘Oh, really?’ The other doesn’t sound the least convinced but Donghyuck just nods. ‘Strange that I don’t know about a new club at the school...’ Only now the tanned boy realises how stupid his lie is. He’s trying to convince a boy who’s involved in the school life like no other student here that there is a new club he doesn’t know of. 

His cheeks start to burn and he quickly tries to think of something to save himself but nothing comes to his mind. ‘It’s just... um...’ 

Luckily, Jeno being the angel without wings that he is, joins their table at that very moment, smacking his plastic tray loudly on the table. 

‘I hate Na Jaemin with my whole heart. He can drown in the pond, in the nearby park and I couldn’t care less.’ Well, Jeno is an angel ninety-nine percent of the time because the remaining one percent is reserved for his deep hatred towards his unwanted, science class desk-mate, Na Jaemin. 

Renjun’s piercing gaze leaves Donghyuck and shifts to the newcomer for what he’s very glad. 

‘What did he do now?’ 

‘Apart from being his usual infuriating and stupid self for a straight hour? This time he nearly managed to set my hair on fire with a Bunsen burner.’ The boy complains taking a sip of his orange juice. 

‘What?’ Donghyuck looks at him with raised brows, interested. He can’t deny that the stories of those two in their science classes never fail to bring a smile to his lips. 

Jeno sighs dramatically. ‘I turned away for literally five seconds to reach into my bag and pull out the textbook but when I turned back to him, there was a lit Bunsen burner right in front of my face. I mean, we’re talking millimetres away from my fringe, guys, and do you know what he claimed was the reason he was so close to me with that thing?’ Both boys shake their heads and the other continues. ‘Apparently, he’s noticed a new mole on the back of my neck he’s never seen before and he just wanted to see it up close, forgetting he’s still holding the burner in his other hand...’ 

Renjun bursts into a laugh and Donghyuck shakes his head in disbelief. Those two are really something else. 

‘It’s not funny!’ The brunette protests. ‘Do you know what he said when I asked him what on earth, he was looking at my neck moles for?’ He stabs the green onion pancake in front of him with a single chopstick. ‘Smiling like the idiot he is, looking straight into my eyes, he just shrugged and said: “Because I think they’re cute.” What fucking excuse is that?!’ 

Renjun groans in what seems to be actual physical pain and Donghyuck clutches at his chest mumbling about being too young to die of a heart attack. 

‘Wow, he’s really in love with you, Jeno.’ Renjun comments when he regains his composure and the brown-haired boy agrees. 

This time it’s Jeno who groans unhappily. ‘Urgh, I hate him so much.’ He stuffs a big piece of golden pancake into his mouth. 

Donghyuck giggles but the low noise soon dies in his throat and his smile falls when he notices a group of guys buying their lunches at the other side of the cafeteria. His gaze stays on them for a few seconds before he finally looks down to his hands. 

Renjun turns, checking behind him to see what has suddenly captured Donghyuck’s attention and when he looks back at his friend, the darker boy knows he’ll not leave it alone until he gets answers. The Chinese is too observant for his own good. 

When the break is nearing its end, they all get up and clean their table, throwing rubbish into the bin. Jeno leaves first, rushing to the other side of the building for his English lesson while Donghyuck is left with Renjun as they both walk to their shared Math class. 

‘So, you’re disappearing after school and you suddenly pale at the mere sight of the guys from the gang, even though you didn’t even spare them a single glance before. I wonder if there is a connection between the two.’ 

‘Do you necessarily have to wonder out loud instead of like, I don’t know... doing that silently in your head?’ 

Renjun suddenly stops him and pulls him to the side of the corridor. ‘Hyuck, what’s going on?’ The said boy turns his head away from his friend. ‘You know you can tell me. Did they do something to you? Bully you?’ 

Is what Mark making him do considered bullying? He has no doubts that by definition, that’s exactly what it is, even if it’s not exactly physical abuse. Even if it’s not the worst kind, it’s a type of bullying for sure. 

He thinks for a second longer then brings his eyes back to the younger’s face. ‘No. It’s just...’ He looks at the smaller boy in front of him. He imagines his precious, tiny Renjun in a fight against someone like Seo Youngho or Nakamoto Yuta and he shudders at the mere thought. He can’t ever let that happen, so he can’t ever refuse Mark Lee’s orders. ‘I’m just spending my time after school helping someone with their homework, it’s nothing. Don’t worry, Junnie.’ 

‘Helping with homework? Hyuck, do you even hear yourself?! I can already imagine what that means, I don’t even need to ask and I’m saying we should tell someone, this is not okay-’ The blonde begins, shaking his head but the other stops him. 

‘Tell someone?! Who? A teacher? You’re saying that as if I would be the first ever to do so! They’re untouchable, Renjun. You, I and the whole school knows that. The only ones that’ll get into trouble for this would be us.’ 

The younger looks down to the floor and doesn’t say anything else. ‘Donghyuck...’ he tries again weakly after a long pause but this time too, he’s cut off. 

‘It’s just one hour, three times a week. It’s nothing to me as long as my friends and I are safe, so please keep this to yourself and don’t mention it to anyone, okay?’ The brown-haired boy pleads. 

Renjun looks up at him, lips pressed into a thin line in clear frustration but then he just nods. 

‘Good.’ Donghyck grabs his wrist and pulls him in the direction of their classroom. ‘Let’s go, we’ll be late if we stand here any longer.’ 

*** 

Renjun keeps his promise and Donghyuck keeps doing Mark’s homework for him, often struggling with the difficult tasks since the black-haired boy is in a year above him. Only because Donghyuck spends a lot of time studying extra material that’s not required of him at home, he’s able to somehow pull it off. 

In a completely absurd way, it’s like practice, like studying. The boy notices his grades are getting even better in his own classes, to the pride of his teachers and his strict parents. 

So, at least there is that. 

After another few days though, he notices something even weirder. He’s getting used to it, like it’s a new routine and despite the pains of spending a full hour of his precious free time studying, usually alone, struggling with Maths and Science and other subjects that are barely still on his level of understanding, he doesn’t mind it that much. Not as much as he thought he would at first. 

The handwriting on the page still looks awfully ugly and rushed and Donghyuck still shakes his head every time, not understanding how the teachers, who must know someone is doing the homework for Mark, never say a single word about it. 

Perhaps they too are scared. Money truly is powerful. 

Walking home Donghyuck hisses in pain. His back, neck and wrist hurt from studying all day in a sitting position and typing and writing endlessly. He flops onto his bed, face first as soon as he gets home. 

It’s true he doesn’t mind it that much anymore but some days when he’s so tired from studying the whole previous night, the whole school day and when the homework is especially difficult, he feels like dying. The letters on the page become blurry, the sentence he’s been reading over and over makes no sense. He looks around the empty room as a distraction, giving up on the work in front of him. 

Five more minutes. Thank God it’s Friday. 

Soon after he checks the time, Mark walks in. Donghyuck tidies up the desk, puts all the things neatly back in their place with sluggish, tired movements. He turns around, feeling the elder’s eyes burning holes in his back. 

‘I’m sorry. It’s not as good as usual but I’m really tired and I just couldn’t focus today. It should still give you a decent grade though. I’m sorry.’ He apologizes weakly. 

Mark doesn’t reply for a moment. He comes closer and the younger tries his best to just stay rooted in the spot, to show that he’s not intimidated but Mark doesn’t seem to be angry. He’s looking at him with a slight frown. Donghyuck doesn’t know how to interpret the other’s behaviour so he just waits. 

After looking at the tanned boy’s face for a bit longer, scanning it briefly, he just nods. ‘Long week, huh?’ Without waiting for a reply Mark’s eyes shift to Donghyuck’s lips and stay there for a second before going back to his eyes. ‘Your lips are dry. Are you thirsty?’ 

He’s so tired, he just wants to go home. He doesn’t have the energy for any games the other might be playing right now. ‘As if you care.’ 

That comment seems to wake the elder boy up. He blinks a few times and moves away. ‘You’re right, I don’t. Get out.’ 

Before he leaves the room, he looks at Mark, who is now on his bed absorbed in his phone, again in hopes of trying to figure that boy out. He’s so dark and Donghyuck wonders what is behind that darkness. But even more so he wonders if the seemingly ephemeral flashes of light could be honest or are they too some part of a game that rules he doesn’t understand. 

On his way home he decides that he will figure it all out. No matter how long it takes, he will find out what’s behind the mask. Who Mark Lee really is. 

He promises himself that he will know before the hot summer comes. 

*** 

Monday morning, Donghyuck runs into Mark accidently in the bathroom. Neither of them speaks but there is tension in the air like something deadly electric. Mark tries to leave as fast as possible, avoiding the other’s gaze. 

Donghyuck stares after him, eyes fixed on the drawings in white against the black of his leather jacket until it all disappears from his eyes with a soft click of the closing door. After a moment he walks up to one of the sinks and splashes cold water on his face, hoping that will make him feel a little better. 

Someone enters the bathroom then and even with water in his eyes blurring his vision, he recognises Renjun’s mop of dyed blonde hair. The other passes him a paper towel without a word and Donghyuck presses it to his face, equally silent. 

‘So, Mark Lee, huh?’ The Chinese whispers finally. 

Donghyuck throws the used towel into a bin nearby and leans on the sink with both his palms pressed to the cold ceramic, staring at his own reflection in the mirror. The dark bags under his eyes, the tired gaze that seems so familiar yet at the same time completely unlike himself. 

He doesn’t question how Renjun knows. It’s Renjun after all. 

‘Mark Lee.’ He confirms quietly. 

And maybe he hates how easily the name slips from his lips; maybe he hates even more how there is no trace of hatred in his voice, even when there clearly should be. 

Shouldn’t there? 

Before he makes his headache worse with pointless thoughts, he turns to leave the damn bathroom finally, Renjun following closely behind him. 

*** 

They don’t talk about it anymore that day because there is nothing to talk about. Donghyuck has already explained everything there was to explain to his friend. 

Only at the end of the day, they stand together at the gates to say goodbye. Now that Renjun knows everything, there is nothing to hide, he doesn’t have sneak away before his friend finds him. They say nothing as the gang passes them by, talking and laughing loudly with each other. Nakamoto Yuta has his arm around Mark as they leave together, Donghyuck and Renjun watch them silently from the corner. 

‘Hyuck, you would tell me, right?’ He looks at his best friend in confusion, waiting. ‘You would tell me if he does something to you, if it’s not just homework anymore, if he starts to bully you or threaten you in any way...’ 

‘Don’t worry Junnie.’ Donghyuck smiles and hugs him tight. ‘You know they’re assholes but they have their rules. The deal was homework in exchange of leaving me and my friends alone, both in and outside of school. We’ll be fine. I even got kind of used to it.’ 

He feels the Chinese relax a bit in his embrace. 

It’ll all be okay. Only until the summer. After the summer Mark and his friends will go to university. It’ll be peaceful once again. 

Donghyuck is craving ice-cream as he walks slowly to the big house. He crosses the familiar gate, rings the doorbell and one of the maids open it for him with a smile. 

‘Hello.’ She greets in awkward Korean, bowing low. 

‘Hello, madam.’ He replies brightly. ‘Mark-ssi is home yet?’ He asks just to keep the conversation, used to the fact that the older boy is always home before him. 

At the question, the foreign maid seems to think for a second. ‘No, not yet.’ She finally replies slowly. ‘Please, wait in his room. Mr Lee should come soon.’ 

He nods and tries to hide his surprise. Walking up the stairs of the empty house, he suddenly wonders why he’s never seen Mark’s parents here or any siblings or even friends. Nobody. But at five o’clock in the afternoon, it’s pretty normal they could still be at work and maybe Mark is the only child; these kinds of information Donghyuck simply doesn’t have. 

He sits on the perfectly made bed, the satin purple and red covers are so beautiful, they feel so smooth under his fingers. He wishes he could afford something like this. He looks down at his grey and black clothes, wishing he could wear something with a brighter colour. 

When he thinks about it, he doesn’t even own any clothes that wouldn’t be a shade of grey, blue, brown or completely black or white. Pretty much all his clothes are passed down from his cousins, his mother never allowed him to buy new clothes, urging him to save money for university. 

Using the opportunity that Mark is not here yet and therefore he has nothing to do, he lays down on the bed, closing his eyes. It’s so comfortable, he could fall asleep. But then he suddenly hears heavy steps and it sounds like someone is having trouble walking up the stairs. He sits up and listens. 

Finally, the door swings open and Mark stumbles into his room. He seems surprised to see Donghyuck there for a second, clearly drunk but then smiles, eyes unfocused and sparkling. 

‘Waiting for me?’ He leans on the wall of his room, having closed the door after himself. ‘Such a good boy. Always here, always on time.’ He throws his backpack at Donghyuck and the other manages to catch it just in time before it hits his face. ‘Get started, I need a shower.’ Without another word he grabs some clothes from his wardrobe to change into and leaves the room on shaky legs. 

With a deep sigh, Donghyuck sits at the familiar desk and begins his work. It’s only about half an hour later that Mark returns, looking more sober, holding two bottles of water in his hands. He puts one on the desk, leaning close to the younger. The sweet scent of the shower gel is stronger when Mark is this close. 

Donghyuck stops what he’s doing and follows Mark around the room with his eyes, surprised. ‘For me?’ He points to the bottle, just to make sure it’s not some trick. He wouldn’t be too shocked if it was. 

With a still slightly intoxicated, goofy smile Mark lies on his bed heavily. Staring at Donghyuck, he nods. ‘Your lips look prettier when they’re not dry from thirst.’ The older explains like it’s a perfectly good reason. 

Donghyuck freezes at the words then feels his face heat up. They stare at each other for a long second but he decides not to ask anything more. He turns back to his work but he finds he can no longer focus on anything. He guesses he is actually very thirsty so he opens the bottle and drinks greedily for few seconds. Maybe this will aid his concentration. 

Looking at his phone, he realises he’s been at Mark’s house for almost two hours. When did the time go? 

Putting everything away, he glances at the boy on the bed. He shakes his head at the sight. Mark is fast asleep, splayed on his bed in a weird position like a starfish. Instead of waking him, Donghyuck decides to let him sleep. 

He’s already at the door, his hand on the handle when he looks back again and in a moment of completely unexplainable emotion, he grabs the blanket that was draped over the big armchair in the corner of the room and places it gently on top of the sleeping boy. Up close he notices how pretty and long Mark’s eyelashes are and how shiny his thick black hair is. 

Quickly, as if suddenly terrified of what he has done, he walks to the door and leaves in a hurry. Running down the stairs, he hears a female voice, seemingly speaking on the phone with someone. It flows melodically in perfect Korean, unlike any of the maids from before. 

In curiosity, he stops by the entrance of the kitchen, from where the voice seems to come from. Upon hearing someone, the voice stops for a second then tells the other person that they will call them back. 

Soon a middle-aged, pretty lady appears and smiles at Donghyuck. ‘Hi, are you Mark’s friend?’ She asks with unmasked surprise in her eyes as she takes him in. 

Friend? They surely aren’t friends but her smile is so friendly and hopeful, the boy melts a little. ‘Umm, kind of. Well, I help him with his homework every other day, we go to the same school.’ He tries his best without lying. ‘My name is Donghyuck.’ He bows down politely. 

‘That’s so sweet of you. Thank you, Donghyuck.’ She thinks for a moment. ‘Mark hasn’t been doing so well with his studies lately, always with his friends. I’m sure you know them.’ Donghyuck nods, lips in a thin line, thinking of the other gang members. ‘Charming bunch they are, really, especially Youngho, this one is a true charmer but I worry about Markie sometimes, you know.’ 

Donghyuck listens with his eyes wide. This woman, no matter how kind, seems completely oblivious of the things that happened at the school because of that “charming bunch” as she called it. The boy stands there, speechless. 

‘He’s going to university soon. He needs decent grades.’ She continues, deep in thought but then smiles again as she focuses on Donghyuck’s face. ‘But you seem very studious and smart Donghyuck. I’m sure you will help my son. I’m so proud he was smart enough to notice that he needs help himself before I say anything and asked you first.’ 

‘Yeah, he must have been worried about his grades.’ Donghyuck agrees weakly, looking down at his feet. ‘It was lovely to meet you Mrs Lee but it’s quite late, I must get going.’ 

‘Ah, of course, you must be tired. You should stay for dinner one day, maybe a Friday when you boys don’t have school the next day.’ She suggests kindly and he nods. 

‘Sounds nice, thank you.’ He lies. He cannot imagine a dinner with Mark and his mum if he’s being honest with himself. ‘Goodbye, Mrs Lee.’ He bows again and turns to leave. 

‘Bye, bye!’ She waves after him. Donghyuck gives her one more glance and realises that Mark has his mother’s eyes. They shine exactly the same. 

Same eyes but everything else is so different. The mystery stays with Donghyuck all the way to his home. 

*** 

It’s so nice like this. Sitting in the cafeteria, forgetting all worries. When they’re together, enjoying food, everything seems different, feels like nothing has changed. Jeno complaining about his studies and about Na Jaemin, of course. 

Even the usual extremely bitter cafeteria-style coffee seems sweeter today. The topic falls to summer plans and wishes and Donghyuck feels happy. His friends are happy and safe and his grades go up because of the extra studying at Mark Lee’s house. 

Summer will be even better. 

‘Excuse me?’ Their cheerful conversation is suddenly interrupted by a slightly low but very sweet voice. 

They all turn to look at the boy with pink hair, standing there with a small smile on his face. It turns out to be Na Jaemin looking down at Jeno with deer-like eyes, keeping his hands behind his back shyly. 

Jeno pales at the sight of the boy. There is a silence that stretches. 

‘What the fuck do you want now Jaemin?! Is it not enough that I have to deal with your stupid ass every day in class?’ The boy asks angrily, raising his voice. The other two watch the scene with interest and surprise. ‘Did you decide to torture me with your annoying presence even after class? Can’t you understand that I don’t want to see your ugly face?!’ Now even some people from tables nearby look their way. 

Donghyuck watches how with every sentence, the light in Jaemin’s eyes begin to die out more and more and how the corners of his lips turn down. In Jeno’s eyes on the other hand, there is a fury that burns bright. 

‘I...’ Jaemin starts but his voice shakes. He pulls out a rectangular, black object from behind his back. ‘You forgot your pencil case, I just wanted to give it back.’ The previously cheerful voice is flat and cold, tears start to show in the corners of the boy’s eyes. He throws the pencil case on the table with some force. It knocks over Jeno’s glass of water, the clear liquid spills all over the table but no one pay it any attention. ‘You’re a real asshole, Lee Jeno.’ 

The pink haired boy turns to leave. ‘Wait, Jaemin...’ Jeno tries. He looks even paler than before and his eyes are wide in shock and guilt. 

Jaemin turns around and stares in the other’s eyes. ‘Don’t worry, tomorrow I will ask someone to swap sits with me. I will never say a single word to you again.’ With that he leaves the cafeteria. 

Jeno stares after him even long after he’s disappeared behind the door. It’s silent at the table. Donghyuck glances at Renjun. The Chinese has a certain look on his face. It’s the type of look that means the other has just realised something important. He wants to ask but he feels this is not the right moment. 

Right then, Jeno folds his arms on top of the table, not caring he’s getting his sweater wet and buries his face in his arms, cursing loudly. 

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ He repeats, hiding from the world. 

Donghyuck thinks for a moment. Something doesn’t make sense. Of course, what Jeno said is way out of line but why is he reacting so strongly when he claims constantly that he hates Jaemin and the other will now finally leave him alone. Isn’t this what he wanted all this time? For Jaemin to leave him alone? 

He looks at Renjun with a confused expression again but the other, unlike Donghyuck, seems like he knows exactly what's going on. He notices Donghyuck’s expression and mouths: “I’ll tell you later.” and reaches out to brush his hand through Jeno’s black hair in a comforting manner. 

Jeno begins to sob quietly. 

Donghyuck begins to understand.


	2. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It continues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 is up.  
> I apologize if there are any inaccuracies with the ages.  
> Please, don't pay too much attention if something is weird,  
> I tried my best to make a realistic high-school universe.  
> Hope you enjoy! Thank you for all the lovely comments on previous chapter! x

‘I got an A in that History essay you wrote last week.’ 

Donghyuck pauses halfway through the math equation he’s been working on and shifts his gaze to the boy, occupied by his phone or at least pretending to be because Donghyuck has noticed him stealing glances every now and then. He didn’t want to think about the reason why that might be though. 

‘It was a good essay.’ 

‘You have some confidence, huh?’ There is curiosity in that voice, maybe a hint of admiration. Perhaps that’s going a bit too far but it brings a smile to his face anyway. ‘You know you’re one of the best.’ 

‘Studying is the only thing I’m confident about. I work hard for my grades.’ 

Donghyuck glances at Mark, who is sitting cross-legged on his bed now. The elder boy nods at those words, deep in thought. 

‘How about having fun? Getting crazy from a time to time? Living while you’re young?’ Mark asks and the younger boy slowly becomes confused. 

This is the first time they talk this much. They usually only exchange a few meaningless sentences and the rest of the time Mark ignores him, staring at his phone, playing games on his console or sleeping. 

‘It’s easier to have fun and go crazy if you have money.’ Mark watches him intently, waiting for more. ‘When you don’t, the craziest thing you can do is take your equally poor, best friend for coffee after school. Or for ice-cream or for ramyeon at the convenience store. That’s as crazy as it gets, I’m afraid.’ 

‘Huh.’ Mark is still seemingly deep in thought. 

Donghyuck goes back to his work. Today, the equations are super hard, he runs a hand through his caramel-coloured hair and exhales deeply. Absorbed in trying to find the solution he doesn’t notice anyone standing behind him, so when he leans back in the chair in frustration, the back of his head bumps into Mark’s stomach. Donghyuck turns around and stares at the other. 

‘What are you doing?’ 

‘I was wondering if I can help somehow.’ Mark stares down at the equations, leaning down to see better with his eyebrows drawn together. Donghyuck looks at him for a long moment, finally coming to a conclusion that the other boy looks cute when he’s confused. 

‘Well... can you or not?’ 

‘No.’ He stares right into Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘I just remembered; I slept that entire class.’ He answers so honestly and innocently it makes the younger laugh. 

He closes his eyes and giggles, pearly laughter echoes in the room. When he opens his eyes, calming down, Mark is still looking at him but the expression on his face is slightly different. It’s unlike anything Donghyuck has ever seen before and he can’t even explain in words but in that fleeting moment he decides he doesn’t hate it that much. 

Something weird, like electric tension builds between them when Donghyuck doesn’t break the eye contact, curious, growing steadily nervous too. Mark wakes up first; he straightens up and clears his throat. 

‘Just leave it if it’s too hard.’ He sounds unsure, distracted. ‘I won’t force you to do anything that’s above your level.’ The words are soft and it takes the other by surprise. ‘You can finish and go whenever you want.’ As in a sudden rush, the black-haired boy leaves the room. 

It’s so quiet when Donghyuck is left alone in the huge, beautiful bedroom. He sighs, taking a drink from the water bottle that is there on the desk, every time waiting for him, ever since that day when Mark came home drunk. He’s thankful for it, his throat is dry for some reason. 

He quickly puts the books and pens away and grabbing his grey jacket, he hurriedly leaves the big house, nearly running down the corridors and down the stairs. 

Is it possible that it was a glimpse of a true Mark Lee? Because if so, it was a sight he wouldn’t mind seeing more often. 

The elder boy is nowhere to be seen as he lets himself out but when Donghyuck looks up at the house once again before passing it by completely, he notices the curtain in one of the windows moves frantically before it stills again. 

He doesn’t understand why it makes his heart do weird things and he doesn’t really want to find out. 

*** 

‘How is the situation with Mark Lee?’ Renjun asks as they walk to the cafeteria on a Wednesday. 

Donghyuck thinks for a minute. He truly doesn’t know. Good? Bad? Annoying? Weird? Out of all of those, the last one is probably the best answer, the most honest one but it would make Renjun question him further so instead he opts for... 

‘Good.’ Donghyuck smiles a little. ‘He doesn’t bother me usually. He just lets me do it in peace while he entertains himself, sitting on his bed, mostly looking at something on his phone.’ He tries to sound reassuring. 

It works. The Chinese nods seriously, clearly relieved. ‘I was worried about you. Lee doesn’t seem in a good mood lately, especially with what happened to Jisung...’ 

Donghyuck stops his friend suddenly. ‘Wait, what? Who is Jisung?’ 

Renjun’s eyes go wide. ‘You didn’t hear about it?’ When Donghyuck shakes his head, Renjun sighs and in a lower voice, he explains. ‘Jisung is a boy from the year below us. Apparently, Mark Lee and his gang but especially Lee, beat him up pretty badly after school yesterday. Nobody knows why but there was so much gossip going around from the very morning, I thought you would know by now.’ 

They sit at their usual table with their food, waiting for Jeno. ‘It was quiet for some time, why would they beat a guy for no reason, so suddenly.’ Donghyuck wonders out loud, still processing what he just heard. 

Renjun turns to whisper in Donghyuck’s ear. ‘Look to your left. A guy with blonde hair, sitting next to the boy with orange hair. That’s Park Jisung and the other is Zhong Chenle. They’re best friends but there were rumours recently that they might be something more.’ The brunette involuntarily winces when he takes in all the fresh bruises on Jisung’s pale face. 

At the very moment the guy called Chenle reaches his hand out to touch Jisung’s face lightly in sympathy but the other pushes his hand away and looks around as if checking if anyone noticed the gesture. He looks clearly nervous while Chenle visibly saddens and pulls away. 

Everything makes sense. Disgusting violence of the gang towards homosexuality. ‘He’s so scared now.’ Donghyuck murmurs under his breath, trying to make sense of everything. 

He thought he saw a different side of Mark two days ago but now he just feels a bit sick in his stomach. The pasta salad in front of him seems revolting. He doesn’t even pick up the fork to eat it. 

‘It’s terrible. I wish we could do something. Poor guys.’ Renjun looks down with sad eyes. 

Donghyuck is lost in his thoughts until Jeno appears. He’s wearing an equally grave-like face. ‘Hi.’ He mumbles under his breath. 

‘God, why is everything so fucked up and sad these days? What is going on in this world?’ Renjun wonders out loud but nobody answers him. ‘Did you apologize to Jaemin yet?’ 

The boy in question sighs loudly. ‘He avoids me like the plague. I can’t even get close to him. I wrote a note saying I’m sorry and asked his new science partner to give it to him but I don’t know if he read it. He probably threw it to the bin as soon as he found out it’s from me.’ Jeno stabs the pasta on his plate like it did an unspeakable crime to him or something. 

Donghyuck decides to stop thinking about what him and Renjun were talking about before and focus on his friend’s troubles. 

‘And who is his new desk partner?’ 

The brunette rolls his eyes like even thinking the name pains him. ‘Kim fucking Jungwoo.’ He finally spits out. 

‘I thought you liked Jungwoo.’ Renjun is having way too much fun now. Donghyuck knows what his friend is doing. 

‘Emphasis on liked. Past tense.’ He raises his index finger up to make his point. ‘Since they sat together it’s like a constant skin-ship show. They hug, they ruffle each other’s hair, they send each other finger hearts... blah, it’s disgusting. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just started making out in the middle of class.’ 

Donghyuck can’t help but giggle, shaking his head. How can Jeno be so oblivious of his own feelings? ‘Unbelievable.’ 

‘Right?!’ Jeno raises his voice. ‘If it becomes even worse, I swear I might actually punch that Jungwoo guy right in his face.’ 

Renjun leans closer to Jeno, arms on the table. ‘So, let’s say... hypothetically of course, if one day you happen to see Jungwoo kiss Jaemin on the mouth and let’s say, Jaemin kisses him back, you will punch Jungwoo, right?’ 

‘Without hesitation, you can mark my words.’ He points his fork at Renjun for emphasis. 

‘Tell me Jeno, do you perhaps see something weird in your logic there?’ 

The dark-haired boy squints his eyes at Renjun. ‘Are you with me or against me, Renjun-ah?’ 

The blonde laughs and leans back in his chair. ‘I’m with you of course.’ He smirks, folding his arms on his chest. ‘What you’re saying makes perfect sense.’ 

Jeno gives him an icy glare. ‘I’m in a horrible situation here and you’re laughing at me. What a friend you are.’ 

‘It may not be so obvious to you right now, but Junnie is actually helping you figure a way out of your horrible situation, Jeno.’ Donghyuck pats his back as they get up to leave the cafeteria for their next class. 

Jeno has never looked more confused than right at that moment. 

*** 

‘So, what did Park Jisung do wrong?’ Donghyuck breaks the silence, asking the question that was on the tip of his tongue for the whole time since he arrived at Mark’s house. 

The older boy pauses the game and stares at the younger in confusion. ‘Who?’ 

‘Oh, so you beat a guy up and you don’t even know his name?’ The irritation and sarcasm are clear in his voice. ‘Barely sixteen years old, blonde... Rings any bells?’ 

Recognition dawns on Mark’s face. ‘Ah, yes. He’s been on our radar for a while now.’ He un-pauses the game as if he’s explained everything there is to explain. It drives the brown-haired boy wild. 

‘What horrible thing has he done to deserve that treatment then?!’ 

Rolling his eyes, he pauses the game again and puts the controller down, turning to face Donghyuck with cold look in his eyes. ‘I don’t think that’s any of your business, sunshine.’ Something in the tone of voice and the look makes Donghyuck shrink into himself instinctively. ‘It’s between me and my friends, so don’t try sticking your nose in things that don’t concern you. Get back to your work.’ 

They don’t exchange any words after that. The sounds of gun shooting from the game Mark is playing become an ambient background noise as Donghyuck finishes the essay he was told to write. Once he’s finished, he tells Mark so and announces he’s leaving. 

Mark exits the game and silence falls onto the room once again. Donghyuck takes a long drink from his water bottle, hoping it will ease the hunger he’s been feeling in his stomach for some time now but as soon as he moves the bottle away from his lips, his stomach growls embarrassingly loudly. 

Mark laughs while Donghyuck’s cheeks redden. ‘Hungry?’ He asks, amusement clear in his voice. 

Donghyuck doesn’t answer. Trying to ignore the other, he picks up his backpack from the floor and his jacket from the corner of the bed but Mark doesn’t seem to want to let him go yet. 

‘Want to eat with me?’ The elder asks, standing a bit too close for comfort. 

It doesn’t make sense. Why is he doing this? Is he playing a game? It can’t be sincere. Suddenly, Donghyuck remembers Park Jisung’s face full of bruises and cuts... 

‘I would rather starve to death than eat with a homophobic bully.’ He tries to pass the boy and get to the door but seconds later he’s being pushed roughly against the wall, his t-shirt getting stretched and crumpled where Mark is grabbing fistfuls of the soft black material. 

‘Watch your mouth if you don’t want trouble. I told you that it’s none of your business.’ Mark hisses close to his ear but lets him go. There is fire in his eyes as he looks right into Donghyuck’s eyes. 

The younger leaves quickly. Perhaps he really should keep his mouth shut for his own and his friends’ good. 

*** 

In a strange way, Mark Lee’s house becomes a little like his own house, somewhere around the third week of May. Not a home but another house. Familiar. The smell, the layout... everything is like another house of his. Very different to the place where he lives but the kind of house that you dream of; the kind of place where it’s nice to spend some time, to daydream that one day, Donghyuck too might own a house like this. 

‘What’s that?’ Donghyuck picks up the bar of chocolate that he found next to his usual bottle of water on the desk. 

Mark looks up from his phone screen. ‘Chocolate.’ He answers simply and the younger rolls his eyes. 

‘I can see that, I’m not blind.’ Mark is watching him from the bed with unreadable expression. ‘But why?’ 

The older boy sighs and leans forward. ‘It’s for you if you get hungry. In case you need an energy boost.’ He explains like he would to a child and Donghyuck hates it. 

‘Pretending to care again?’ Donghyuck turns back to the work, putting down the snack back where it was before. 

It’s silent for a moment and Donghyuck thinks Mark won’t answer when suddenly a low whisper reaches his ears. ‘Why do you think that every nice thing I do for you is insincere? Why do you always think I’m only pretending?’ 

There is something strange in the tone of voice, it sounds like hurt but it can’t be. This is Mark Lee. 

Donghyuck looks at the other boy curiously. ‘You have no reason to be genuinely nice to me, I’m a nobody.’ It doesn’t even really hurt that much to admit out loud. It’s nothing but the truth. ‘Besides, I’m sure you know, you’re not really known to be a nice and caring person around the school.’ 

Mark looks down at his hands before he starts to nod weakly. ‘Yeah, I guess I’m not.’ 

In the silence that follows, Donghyuck finds that he can’t look away from Mark for some reason. The way he’s sitting there on the huge bed, he looks broken. Like a prince that has everything except the thing he actually wants to have. 

What do you want, Mark Lee? What is it that you truly want? Donghyuck wants to ask but he’s too afraid. 

‘Did I say something that upset you?’ The younger asks instead to break the weird, heavy silence. 

Mark looks up at him again and studies his face for a long moment. ‘Don’t worry, sunshine. I’m not so easily upset.’ He tries to smirk but kind of fails. It looks like something between a smirk and a smile, some new type of expression that he’s never seen on Mark’s face before. ‘All you said is true.’ 

Time flies once Donghyuck is back to work but today more than before he feels those glances. He knows Mark is looking his direction every now and then, he feels it burning but he doesn’t turn around. 

He focuses on the words on the page, he answers the questions carefully even though his own head is full of questions too. However, the questions in his head have nothing to do with biology. 

He closes the notebook and the textbooks he’s been using, slowly. Standing up, he stretches and yawns. Mark watches him with a calm expression. Donghyuck decides to be bold. He gathers his courage and asks suddenly: 

‘Why do you always call me sunshine?’ 

The question hangs heavily in the air until Mark gets up and stands close to the younger. ‘I’ll answer but only if you answer my question too.’ He proposes. 

‘Fine.’ 

Mark smiles and cocks his head to the side. ‘Because you’re so bright, like the sun. Especially when you’re in a situation when you feel comfortable, like when you’re with your friends in the cafeteria.’ He explains calmly. It sounds really genuine; it takes the other boy by surprise. 

Donghyuck thinks for a moment then narrows his eyes. ‘Mark Lee, do you secretly observe me while I’m eating my lunch?’ 

It’s really hilarious how the black-haired boy’s eyes go so wide and his mouth opens in surprise. ‘No, no... I don’t.’ He tries to deny but with every word his face turns more and more pink. He clears his throat. ‘Anyway, my question.’ Donghyuck nods with a small smile on his lips, waiting. ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ 

Without hesitation, the younger replies. ‘Red.’ The slight surprise is obvious in the dark eyes staring back at him. 

‘Really?’ Mark looks his up and down subtly, taking in the grey top and black jeans. ‘But you always wear-’ 

‘I know.’ He sighs. ‘It’s a long story... but really, it’s red.’ Donghyuck looks around for his backpack. ‘Can I go now?’ 

‘One second.’ Mark runs to his wardrobe and looks for something hurriedly. The younger watches, curious, waiting. ‘Here it is!’ Finally, Mark pulls out something that looks like a sweater. 

It’s a beautiful crimson colour. With excitement in his eyes, Mark comes closer and shows it to the brown-haired boy. 

‘Do you like it?’ When all Donghyuck can do is nod, Mark adds. ‘It’s yours.’ 

‘What?’ Donghyuck stares at the elder like he’s lost his mind. 

Mark just smiles and goes to fetch a paper bag from his drawer. ‘I bought it some time ago but red doesn’t suit me very well.’ He folds the sweater neatly and puts it inside the bag. 

‘I don’t know if I can accept that...’ He starts to refuse but Mark shakes his head and just hands him the bag. 

‘Of course, you can, it’s nothing.’ 

Donghyuck feels numb; he feels like all his thoughts are suddenly gone from his mind. He’s confused, he knows he probably shouldn’t accept that gift. It’s suspicious, maybe it’s a part of some game Mark is playing with him but the sweater is so pretty, when he looks down inside the bag again. 

‘Thank you, hyung.’ He replies softly in the end. He grabs his belongings and leaves quickly. 

When he gives the other boy one last glance, the other’s eyes are wide in surprise again and it’s only when Donghyuck shuts the door of the house and heads towards his own that he realises what he’s just done. 

His heart begins to race in his chest. 

He just called Mark Lee “hyung” for the first time.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It continues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Chapter 3 is up!   
> Hope you all like it so far and hope you like the direction it's going.  
> Your kudos and comments are giving this fic its life tbh, they're very encouraging,  
> so thank you! xx

‘Lee Donghyuck, I can tell there is something on your mind. Something heavy by the looks of it.’ Renjun breaks the silence on their walk home from school on Thursday. ‘You want to share?’ 

‘Why do you think there is something?’ Donghyuck tries to fool his friend. 

Renjun shrugs his shoulders. ‘I just know you, Hyuck. You’re a bad liar and I know something is wrong because you haven’t said a word since we passed the school gates.’ 

He considers it for a long moment. He’s tempted to share with his best friend... but how would that even sound if he told the other boy that Mark Lee hasn’t left his mind for the last two days? Surely, Renjun would call him crazy. It is crazy. He doesn’t even know what exactly he feels for the older boy. All he knows is that something changed in their relationship when Donghyuck was there last time. 

That time when he mistakenly called Mark his hyung. 

‘I’m just worried about an upcoming exam. It’s nothing.’ 

Renjun looks at him for a long moment then sighs quietly. ‘Fine, you can tell me when you’re ready. I’ll wait.’ 

He looks at the smaller boy walking by his side. He suddenly feels strangely emotional. ‘Thanks, Renjun.’ The blonde smiles at him and he returns the gesture. ‘I’ll tell you everything, I promise. I’ll tell you once I figure out what it actually all is.’ 

The serious mood slowly changes into something lighter, the blonde boy telling Donghyuck about something funny that happened in class. Soon they’re both laughing loudly and Donghyuck forgets about all his worries. 

*** 

‘Eat with me, sunshine.’ 

He ignores the whining coming from the huge bed. He tries to ignore the delicious smell coming from the same direction too, although that proves to be harder than he thought. 

‘No, thank you.’ He replies stubbornly. 

The whining gets cuter. ‘Please... join me, my sunshine.’ 

He turns around in the chair abruptly, annoyed expression on his face. ‘If you call me that again, I won’t speak to you at all.’ He tries to threaten the older boy but the other’s response is just a sly smile. 

‘C’mon, I know you’re hungry. School lunch was four hours ago.’ He stares at Donghyuck with those big dark eyes and it’s hard for the younger to look away. 

‘I haven’t finished the homework yet.’ He tries, picking up the bright blue coloured notebook for emphasis. 

He doesn’t anticipate what happens next. With a huff, Mark gets up from his bed, approaches the desk, pulls the notebook out of Donghyuck’s hand roughly and smacks it back on the desk. He leans down to be on eye-level with the younger and for a moment Donghyuck gets anxious, thinking the other will either scream at him or hit him or something but that’s not what happens. 

‘I make the rules. If I tell you to the damn homework you do it and if I tell you to leave it and come and join me on the bed, you do it, understand?’ The shine in the pretty eyes, changes from warm to cold in an instant. The younger finds that he can only nod in response, his heart beating faster than few seconds ago. 

Mark suddenly grabs both of his hands and pulls him up from the chair and leads him towards his bed where the foods he got delivered fifteen minutes ago are displayed. They sit opposite each other and the older boy lets go of his hands to pick up his chopsticks instead. He passes another set to Donghyuck who politely accepts. 

In the silence, the brown-haired boy wonders how the other can keep changing his behaviour like this. In a matter of seconds, he can go from hot to cold and from cold to hot. Donghyuck begins to suspect that one of those extremes is not genuine and he’s starting to think that the cold side is a cover up for the real side of Mark Lee. 

He’s warm, deep inside there is little fire burning, so why does he keep trying to show everyone around him that he’s the opposite? 

‘It’s really good, right?’ Mark asks softly looking up at him when he sees Donghyuck put a piece of tteokbokki in his mouth. 

‘It’s nice.’ He tries to act indifferent but the food is actually really tasty and only now he realises he’s been really hungry. Soon he’s stuffing his mouth and involuntarily closing his eyes in joy. 

Mark’s soft laugh brings him back to reality and his cheeks redden at how the other is staring at him with a smirk. ‘You’re so cute when you eat, sunshine.’ 

Donghyuck narrows his eyes at him. ‘Fine. I’m not speaking to you anymore.’ 

The older sighs. ‘Oh, but this nickname suits you so well...’ He thinks for a long moment, looking outside the window. ‘Okay, how about...’ He thinks some more while Donghyuck enjoys bulgogi and rice. 

It’s quiet for an elongated moment until it almost seems like Mark has given up but right then he shifts his eyes at the other boy and smiles wide. 

‘What now?’ Donghyuck asks curiously. He doesn’t like how wide the other is smiling at him right now. 

‘Haechan.’ Mark says softly with so much affection in his voice. Something in Donghyuck’s chest squeezes painfully. ‘Full-sun.’ 

It sounds pretty, he can’t deny but he just stays silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. That familiar tension is back again, this time with double the power. They just stare at each other like they’re seeing each other for the first time. At the back of the younger’s head, he can hear some tiny voice telling him that something is changing, something is developing. 

A weird feeling that something old is ending and something new is beginning. He’s a little anxious of all this, a little excited too but above all he’s curious. ‘Heachan sounds nice.’ He whispers, trying not to break the tension between them. 

‘Perfect.’ Mark whispers too, leaning slightly forward, resting his hands on his knees, sitting in a cross-legged position. 

The sun outside the window is slowly going down and the leftover food between them is going cold but Donghyuck feels strangely comfortable like this, even though they don’t speak. It’s not awkward when they only steal glances at each other every now and then. In fact, it feels very intimate. 

‘I should go home.’ Donghyuck finally says. He wishes he could stay longer but he knows it’s getting late. 

Mark blinks and wakes up from his daze, getting up from the bed. The older boy watches Donghyuck wear his jacket and wear his back pack without a word. He opens the door for the younger. 

‘See you on Friday, hyung.’ He says the last word feeling slightly nervous but this time he says it on purpose, fully knowing what he’s saying, fully aware he’s changing something between them or perhaps he’s solidifying the changes that already took place earlier today. He’s looking down to the carpet to protect himself, he’s too nervous to look up at the older. ‘Thank you for the food.’ Only then he glances up again. 

What he sees sends a shiver through his whole body. The smile on Mark’s lips is so pretty, Donghyuck has no doubt that it’s real. It’s so beautiful. 

They’re standing really close but the younger has no desire to put any distance between them. He knows he’s taking a risk. That this could end badly but he’s not a coward, he wants to try. 

‘Be careful on your way home, Heachan-ah.’ 

All the way to his home, he feels so light, feels like his head is in the clouds. 

With shaky hands and ever more shaky heart he realises that he’s beginning to feel something he’s never felt before. That feeling that puts all rational thoughts into a far-away corner of the mind, that feeling that makes the world suddenly seem a better place. 

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, trying to bring himself back to reality, get back down from the sky to the ground, tell himself not to hope for too much, to stay sane but it’s too late. 

It’s too late because it’s too sweet and Donghyuck wants it too much. He had a taste and now he’s ruined, he’s gone. 

*** 

Donghyuck can’t focus on anything the next day. Math equations don’t make any sense, he’s managed to somehow forget all the English he knew overnight, he’s tripping over his own two feet during sports class. 

He saw the gang earlier today but Mark Lee wasn’t with them. He’s not in school today at all and the reason why it might be is the only thing on the younger’s mind. Is he not feeling well? And why does that make Donghyuck worried? 

He enters the boys’ bathroom quietly, hoping it’s empty so that he can splash some cold water on his face in peace and maybe finally wake up from his daydream. 

It is thankfully empty when he enters and for a moment, he just stares at himself in the mirror. He reaches his hand out to switch on the tap but stops mid-way when he hears a sob coming from one of the cubicles. He retracts his hand quickly and stays there, trying not make a sound, frozen in surprise. After another, this time even louder sob, there is a soft voice but Donghyuck is too far away to hear. 

Instead of leaving the bathroom, he comes closer and hides in a corner to listen. Perhaps someone needs help, he wonders. 

‘...please, don’t cry.’ comes a soft, heavily accented voice. ‘I hate seeing you this way. I love you so much, Jisung.’ The voice is only a whisper, Donghyuck tries very hard to hear it but as soon as he realises who is inside the cubicle, his heart begins to pound. 

‘I’m scared... I’m scared they’ll do something to you this time. That’s all I’m worried about. They can beat me up all they want but if they lay a finger on you, I will kill them. I promise you; I will find a way.’ The deep voice is shaky but honest, fierce determination vibrates through it. 

‘Don’t say that, please. Don’t let them get to your head like that.’ The other pleads in a weak voice. ‘Let’s just push through this. There are only two months left before the end of school. Soon they’ll disappear and we’ll be safe again...’ 

‘No, Chenle. I’m sick of this, we’re not doing anything wrong. Why should we hide, when all we do is love each other?’ Now it sounds like the other boy, Chenle is crying softly. There are some sounds like movement and after few seconds, Donghyuck is sure that what he’s hearing now is sounds of kissing. Rough and passionate kissing sounds with occasional soft sobs and heavy breaths. 

‘I love you so much, Chenle...’ The raw emotion in the voice makes tears pool in Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘I’ll protect you; I’ll do my best.’ 

‘Your best is more than enough.’ 

Hot tears fall down the brown-haired boy’s cheeks. 

‘No one will pull us apart; I don’t care what they do to me anymore.’ There is determination in Jisung’s voice. Some sounds follow like he’s unzipping his back pack. 

‘What are you doing?’ Chenle asks. 

‘Watch this.’ Dongyuck tries very hard to hear but there is silence. 

‘Jisung, that’s not a good idea...’ 

‘It’s a very good idea. Now, let’s go, we have class soon.’ The door opens suddenly and the boys stumble out, Donghyuck holds his breath in his hiding spot and only breathes properly when the door closes behind them as they leave. 

With unexplained curiosity he walks inside the cubicle where the two boys just been and looks around. There it is. On one of the white tiles of the wall, in black sharpie there is something freshly written. 

“I, Park Jisung love Zhong Chenle and I think Mark Lee and his little gang are a bunch of dicks.” 

Donghyuck looks at the neat writing with eyes still wet with tears. He wipes at them angrily and gets closer to the white tilled wall. 

Fifteen minutes into his literature class, Donghyuck sits in his spot next to Renjun, after apologizing to the teacher for his lateness. 

‘Where the hell have you been, Hyuck?’ Renjun asks annoyed then takes in the other’s appearance. He looks at the tear stained cheeks and the red eyes, then glances down at Donghyuck’s hands. ‘What happened to you? What is this black thing all over your hands?’ 

Fresh wave of hopeless tears fills Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘Renjun, I’m ready to tell you everything.’ He whispers looking down, he watches his own tears fall from his eyes and hit the wooden desk. 

*** 

‘I really don’t know how it happened.’ He exhales slowly. ‘No matter how much I want to hate him, I don’t know how to do that.’ 

It’s warm and breezy underneath the huge oak tree in the park. All around them, people are walking, playing with their dogs, exercising. It’s so peaceful and light around them but they’re having one of the heaviest conversations they ever had. 

‘Hyuck, I need you to know that I’m not trying to disregard your feelings. Neither am I trying to put them down but you know very well that the gang is famous for their manipulative ways.’ Renjun begins softly, carefully. 

He knows. Of course, he knows they’re good actors. That they have managed to cheat and delude not one and not two people before, only to publicly hurt and embarrass them later. 

‘That’s what I keep telling myself every day.’ He admits. ‘Every time he looks at me with those big shiny eyes, I try to remind myself who he is and what he has done in the past. I think of Park Jisung... and I hate him, I really do but the feelings go away as suddenly as they come.’ The blonde boy puts an arm around his best friend in sympathy, waiting for more. ‘When we’re alone, that’s when I think I see something there. Something that is just for me to see. It’s like he takes of a mask...’ 

‘Hyuck... I don’t know what you see and I can’t know how you feel but I’m worried about you. Just look at the emotional turmoil he puts you through right now.’ Renjun plays with Donghyuck’s hair, still hugging him tight. ‘Truly, I don’t think that Mark Lee is really a bad person, I don’t think any of them are but what they do when they come together is scary. Maybe what they do is just a way to show superiority, maybe it’s a way to hide their insecurities... I don’t know but they’ve been doing this for a few good years and I don’t think it’s that easy to change that kind of behaviour.’ The Chinese boy’s soft words bring comfort to him. He knows the other understands him but he’s always been very careful, down to earth, rational. Donghyuck is the one who lets his emotions take over his head sometimes, letting them run wild. 

‘You’re right.’ He knows he should be careful but the stubborn feelings remain. ‘I’ve fallen for him too easily. I can’t take the risk that he’s merely messing with my head.’ 

‘I don’t know what to tell you, Hyuck. If I can give you any advice, it’s to stick to what you’re there for, which is to do the homework. Just do it and go back home. Try not to fall into his traps, Hyuck. Maybe if he sees you’re ignoring him, he will finally leave you alone.’ 

But he doesn’t want Mark to leave him alone, his heart aches at the very thought but he doesn’t tell Renjun that. Instead, he nods in agreement. He watches two small kids play with each other in the distance, laughing loudly, unaware of the world around them. He envies them. Being an adult is a hard job, especially when feelings get involved. 

‘Thanks, Renjun. I will try.’ He smiles at the other boy. ‘Mark is a spoiled, rich brat. If I don’t respond, he will probably get bored and leave me alone. He’ll find someone else to torment.’ 

He wants to believe it is all true. It will be better for everyone if it’s true. 

So, why does he feel so sad at the thought of losing his afternoons with Mark Lee? When did this thing that he never asked for, never needed before, has become this important?


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It continues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back I'm sorry for taking this long.  
> I wasn't feeling so great but now  
> I will try to upload more regularly!  
> Also, thank you so much for your lovely comments!  
> Even during my absence. they just keep flooding in,   
> filled with so much love for this fanfic, thanks a million :)  
> Enjoy reading and stay healthy everyone!

“Go there, do the homework, come back home. Go there, do the homework, come back home.” That’s what Donghyuck tells himself on Monday, as he walks towards the huge white mansion. He’s determined to stick to what he’s decided. 

He doesn’t care what Mark Lee is doing anymore. He doesn’t want to know and he can’t wait until summer comes, so that they can graduate and don’t have to see each other again. 

He knocks on the familiar door. 

‘Come in.’ A sleepy voice answers him. 

Upon entering, something feels different immediately. Every cell in Donghyuck’s body is telling him that something is off but he follows through with his plan. He takes off his jacket and places it in the same spot at the edge of the bed, ignoring the older boy laying on the said bed and staring at him. He sits on the red chair by the desk, waiting. 

‘Where is it?’ He glances at the empty desk top where normally books and notebooks would be waiting for him. He shifts his gaze to the black-haired boy. ‘Where is today’s homework?’ 

Mark smirks at him, clearly enjoying the other’s confusion. ‘You’re looking at it.’ 

‘Excuse me?’ 

Mark sighs visibly but the corners of his mouth are still lifted in joy. He gestures vaguely at himself and the bed with his hand, not explaining anything further. 

‘You?’ Donghyuck tries weakly. From the other’s expression, he understands that he’s somewhat close but not quite there yet. Without much thinking he lets words just spill out of his mouth. ‘You want me to do... you? I don’t understand.’ 

Mark laughs. Loud and high-pitched. ‘Hmm, tempting but I don’t think we’re on that level just yet.’ He sends a purposeful wink Donghyuck’s way. 

Upon the realisation of what his words imply, the younger’s cheeks begin to tingle and colour a shade of pink. ‘That’s not what I meant.’ He defends himself hotly, making the blush on his face worse, reaching to his ears. 

‘Of course not.’ Mark’s eyes still have that mysterious flicker in them. ‘But back to your previous question, from today onwards, there will be no homework, not in the sense you’re used to at least.’ Donghyuck’s heart drops a bit, his eyes widen, he freezes, overwhelmed with uncertainty. ‘Nothing academic. No writing of essays, no answering of bio questions, no solving of maths equations. My grades are now good enough to pass and the semester is finishing in few weeks.’ He sits up on the bed and now Donghyuck notices the other is wearing very casual clothes, they look almost like pyjamas. ‘So, today’s homework’s title is...’ he pauses for dramatical effect and effective it is; Donghyuck’s heart begins to race in anxiety and anticipation. ‘...”Come and take a nap with me.”’ 

Somehow it seems both better and worse from what he expected. It doesn’t seem like a big deal. He knows the other boy’s brain is capable of much crazier ideas but at the same time, an image of Renjun from yesterday’s conversation enters Donghyuck’s mind and with a shaky, buzzing sensation in his chest, he realises he’s screwed. 

That simple plan that he had in his mind just moments ago, evaporates into the thin air. Just like it was never there in the first place. 

For a moment, in the silence where Donghyuck is processing Mark’s words, and the older is waiting for his answer, his reaction, Donghyuck wants to ask why. Why the sudden change? What’s in it for Mark now that the obvious benefit of getting better grades is off the table? But he doesn’t ask because he already, slowly begins to understand. 

‘Fine.’ He answers simply instead and gives a small, polite smile. He walks somewhat slowly towards the bed; watches Mark’s eyes open tiny bit wider and his lips part in an unhidden surprise. 

Donghyuck lies down on the bed, on his left side calmly. He’s aware of the fact that the other boy is looking down at him in curiosity, so he closes his eyes and tries to even out his breaths, get used to this new situation. 

After a few, long seconds he feels something and he opens his eyes to Mark placing a large yellow blanket on top of them both. Even though they are a good half a meter apart, the blanket is enough to cover both boys easily despite the distance between them. They lie down like this without a word for some time. 

‘It’s too bright.’ Mark suddenly says and disturbs the peace by looking for his phone. When he finally finds it, he opens some application that Donghyuck can’t quite see from here and after a moment the blinds on the windows begin to automatically lower down. Mark lies back down, satisfied. 

The atmosphere in the room changes. As the light disappears more and more, it becomes heavier but at the same time more relaxing and intimate. Donghyuck tries to lighten it up with a joke. ‘No matter what you do, it will always be bright with me in the room.’ He reads the confusion and interest in Mark’s eyes in the now dim room. ‘I’m full-sun after all.’ He smiles warmly. 

Mark giggles quietly and nods. ‘True. You are the light itself.’ 

It happens again. That moment when they’re both silent and looking into each other’s eyes. Each time it happens Donghyuck thinks he’s seeing a slightly different Mark. Every time, there is a different glint in his big, dark eyes. Every time, his rough edges seem softer somehow. 

Maybe the comparison isn’t that acurate but it is a bit like taming a wild animal. Taking it slow, making the right moves. Until you look at it for the hundredth time but this time, it’s different, this time you know that you’re safe to reach out your hand and touch, this time you just know that you’re accepted. 

In a similar way, Donghyuck has this weird urge to reach out and touch. To feel those pronounced cheekbones, famous around the school, under his fingertips. To brush the charcoal-black hair from his forehead, just to see if it’s as soft as it looks. But something stops him. It’s not the right time yet. Mark may seem like a cute baby lion now but he’s unpredictable; perhaps he’s in the middle of crossing the bridge but not completely on the other side yet. 

‘Haechan-ah?’ 

He brings his gaze that has wondered off somewhere behind the boy next to him, back to Mark. He’s getting used to the nickname, like it was his true name all along; he’s getting used to how pretty it sounds coming out of the elder boy’s lips. ‘Yes?’ 

‘Do you hate me?’ He whispers with a serious expression on his face. 

Donghyuck scrunches his brows, thrown off by the sudden question. The anxiety, as Mark waits for the answer, is visible in his eyes. 

‘No.’ Donghyuck replies simply, honestly. Relief washes over Mark’s face like a wave. ‘Not now and not even in the beginning. I hated spending my free afternoons, slumped over your homework for the first few weeks but I never hated you.’ The expression on the other boy’s face is unreadable. Somehow, Donghyuck feels like he wants to explain more. ‘Maybe except some brief moments when my emotions take over rational thought but even then, they don’t last very long. It came as a surprise to me too.’ 

Maybe he’s said too much. Maybe he’s showed his heart too much but there is something about this atmosphere that makes him open up to the other boy like he’s never done to anyone else. 

‘I want to change the rules of the deal.’ Mark announces suddenly. ‘You can leave whenever you want, you don’t even have to come at all, it’s up to you. Today can be the last day we see each other outside of school. I, or any of my friends won’t hurt you or any of your friends, inside or outside of school.’ 

For a second, Donghyuck can’t believe what he’s hearing. For a moment, it seems like it makes no sense. However, it makes a perfect sense. 

There is a completely different meaning behind those words. He’s changing the rules of the deal but at the same time he’s asking for trust. He’s taking a step back, giving Donghyuck the control. 

But Donghyuck watches his hyung, somehow unable to imagine his afternoons without him and that’s why he only smiles. ‘That’s a big change.’ He states patiently, to which Mark only nods, probably half-expecting the other boy to just get up and leave now. 

‘It is.’ Mark swallows his spit nervously, waiting. 

Instead of leaving, Donghyuck just makes himself more comfortable under the blanket. ‘Stop staring at me and close your eyes, hyung. This is supposed to be a nap. Neither of us will ever fall asleep if we just keep talking.’ He closes his eyes and exhales slowly. 

After a long moment, he thinks he can feel Mark moving slightly closer to him than before but maybe it’s just the other boy changing his position. Either way he’s too nervous to open his eyes and find out. 

*** 

Mark is still adorably sleepy, when he walks Donghyuck to the front door. The younger boy woke up merely half an hour into the nap. He lied there in peace watching and thinking, yet still unable to come to any kind of helpful conclusion except that Mark Lee is beautiful. 

‘See you on Wednesday, hyung.’ He grips the straps of his backpack tightly, ready to leave. 

Mark nods but there are still doubts swimming in his eyes. ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to.’ He reassures again. 

‘I know.’ Donghyuck answers simply. He knows he doesn’t have to and he knows he’ll be here again soon with a certainty that should be slightly alarming. He decides to ignore the danger signs he can see in his head. 

He walks home slowly, still a little dazed from everything that just happened. The sound of an incoming message wakes him up. It’s from Renjun, asking if everything went according to the plan. 

The plan... 

He stops in the middle of the empty sidewalk and stares at the phone screen until it turns black. He feels bad typing the reply because it’s Renjun and he hates lying to his best friend and maybe it’s selfish and wrong but he wants to keep whatever is growing between him and Mark private. He doesn’t want anyone to know. He wants it to be their secret. 

So, with mixed feelings he replies that indeed, everything went to plan and he can’t wait for summer holidays to come. 

He knows it’s wrong. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend but with Mark, he’s feeling something he couldn’t even imagine feeling before and he needs to know where it leads. He needs to know if the older boy feels the same way he feels towards him. 

*** 

On the Wednesday morning he comes to school wearing the red sweater he got from Mark. He wasn’t sure if he should wear it or not at first but in the end, he decided that on a special day, he should wear something special. 

He’s hoping to see the other boy and his wish comes true even before his first class of the day. The gang’s loud laughter can be heard from far away and Donghyuck’s heart begins to shake at the thought. He’s so curious of the other’s reaction, he can’t concentrate on anything except walking without tripping and falling down. 

When Mark sees Donghyuck, he nearly stops. It’s clearly visible how his steps slow down, his laughter at something Nakamoto Yuta was saying suddenly dies out. He’s barely blinking, his beautiful brown eyes are wide and his mouth opens – something Donghyuck came to realise is Mark’s typical surprised expression. 

Donghyuck only smiles a little, shy. The interaction, if it can even be called that, lasts merely few seconds but Donghyuck is sure that the older boy’s cheeks turn the colour of the sweater he’s currently wearing, just as they pass each other in the hallway, surrounded by other students hurrying for their first class of the day. 

All the time during maths he isn’t able to think of anything else than Mark Lee’s cute, surprised expression. When he walks into the cafeteria for lunch, still smiling a little, Jeno and Renjun are already there. 

‘Happy Birthday!’ They shout in unison. 

Jeno presents Donghyuck with a birthday card. ‘You look nice, I love the sweater.’ 

‘Present from mum.’ He lies quickly and opens the card, reading the short message to hide his face. ‘Thank you, Jeno. That’s really sweet.’ He walks over to give the boy a quick hug and he receives a pretty smile in return. 

‘My present is a dinner. Today at seven o’clock. I will text you the address later.’ He takes a sip of his orange juice. ‘And you’re invited too, Jeno. It’s about time you hang out with us outside of school, right Hyuck?’ 

Donghyuck gives Renjun a hug too and nods at Jeno. ‘Of course, the more the merrier.’ He adds after a moment of thought. ‘I hope the dinner is on you, though, Injun.’ 

The Chinese rolls his eyes. ‘Of course, it’s on me. You think I’ll make you pay on your birthday? Who do you think I am, Hyuck?’ 

Donghyuck just laughs and hugs him again from the side. ‘Well, you’re the oldest amongst us, after all.’ He teases. 

‘By couple of weeks.’ He playfully pokes the younger in his side. 

Jeno looks a bit unsure. ‘I’m happy to pay for myself. It’s too much for Renjun to pay for three people by himself.’ He offers. 

‘Don’t worry, Jeno, I’m perfectly fine paying for everyone. The place where we’re going is not very expensive anyway but the food is amazing, you’ll both love it.’ Renjun reassures. 

A comfortable atmosphere falls between them where they’re all eating their lunch in silence. Only after few minutes, Donghyuck suddenly asks. 

‘Jeno, how is the situation with Jaemin? Any new updates?’ 

At that the boy in question saddens a bit and sighs audibly. ‘No. Jaemin is still sitting next to Jungwoo and they continue being disgusting. I apologized to Jaemin again. He looked at me with a blank face and when I finished my speech, he simply turned away and left. No comment, not even a word.’ Renjun looks up from his salad with interest. ‘But I discovered why I hate the sight of them two together so much.’ 

‘Really?’ Donghyuck asks, interested. Now both him and Renjun are looking at Jeno expectantly, hoping. 

‘Yeah. I guess it’s because I hate change. I like routine, when things are always the same. With Jaemin, we sat together during science for nearly a year now. I got used to his stupid jokes, his reckless behaviour and even his vomit-inducing pick-up lines.’ Jeno explains calmly, seriously. ‘I don’t like changes and I wasn’t prepared for this. That’s why it’s so frustrating.’ 

Silence falls between the three boys. The first one to break it is Renjun. 

‘You hate changes.’ He repeats back to him carefully like a counsellor might do to his client during a session. ‘That’s the conclusion you came to?’ 

Donghyuck looks at his best friend’s expression from the side and tries to hold in his laughter. The blonde is currently looking at Jeno in utter disbelief. 

‘Yes.’ Jeno blinks a few times and looks around the table, unsure, when Renjun’s wide eyes won’t leave his face. ‘Well... what other reason could there be?’ 

Donghyuck quickly clears his throat when he notices his friend getting ready to tell the other the true reason, the frustration clear on his face. ‘We should hurry and finish our food, we have less than four minutes to get to class on time. 

The Chinese glances at Donghyuck and then seems to understand the silent message. He nods and smiles a little. ‘Hyuck is right. Let’s get going. We can continue the conversation later.’ 

They quickly leave. Right when they get to the door, Donghyuck hears some whispering and sneers coming from the left side of the cafeteria. He stops for a moment and upon realising what is going on, he feels a mix of emotions that twist uncomfortably in his stomach. 

Like two princes, locked in a bubble of young, sweet love, unaware of the outside world, of the other students pointing at them and whispering behind their back, hand in hand, walk Park Jisung and Zhong Chenle. 

All the way to class, Donghyuck can’t get the image out of his head. He’s worried for them above all else. They’re brave for sure but maybe sometimes it’s better to be smart than brave... 

Maybe sometimes it’s better to listen to the brain and not to the heart? 

*** 

The weather is so nice and bright when they finally finish the last class, getting ready to part their ways. They’re confirming their plans for the dinner one last time and Donghyuck is excited. He’s looking forward to spending time with Mark, then with his closest friends. His father is supposed to be home before ten o’clock in the evening tonight too, which rarely happens and his mum will be home before six. 

They’re ready to go when there are shouts heard from the nearby school football pitch. People are running and it quickly becomes a chaos. 

Donghyuck runs up to a boy from his math class, who is pointing in the direction of the pitch and talking loudly, excitedly to his group of friends. 

‘Taeyong, what’s happening out there?’ He asks. 

The white-haired boy turns around. ‘It’s a fight!’ He answers with a raised tone of voice. ‘The gang and that Jisung guy again, I think. We’re going to watch before the teachers realise!’ He runs off towards the football pitch, his friends following. 

Donghyuck’s heart sinks, he feels weak on his legs, standing frozen in spot. 

‘Donghyuck, stay. Please, don’t go there, don’t watch this.’ Renjun grabs his arm, trying to stop him but the brown-haired boy’s eyes are fixed on that spot in the distance. 

‘Sorry, Jun. I need to see this.’ He answers with tears already forming in his eyes. Before he knows it, he’s running. 

But his friends don’t leave him. Renjun and Jeno follow. They follow Donghyuck as he pushes through the crowd that has gathered around the fight, to get to the front. The three boys find themselves in the front line, meters from the scene. 

Looking at what’s in front of their eyes, Renjun gasps while Donghyuck’s breath gets stuck in his throat. It’s brutal, it’s violent. A sickening show of power and superiority over a powerless soul. Two souls to be precise. 

Park Jisung has tears streaming down his face, the bruises forming on his face appear next to the fading ones from the last time. Suh Youngho throws relentless punches and Donghyuck’s heart breaks with each one but upon looking at the other figure next to Jisung, his heart might as well have been ripped from his chest at the sight. That’s how it feels. 

He’s covering his face with his hands to avoid Jung Jaehyun’s attacks but Donghyuck will recognise the mop of black, shiny hair anywhere. He will recognise the strong hands, long fingers, the defined jawline, now cut with sharp nails and badly bruised. 

‘Mark...?’ He whispers, confused and broken but nobody hears him amongst the clamour around them. 

Screams sound from nearby and a group of five male and two female teachers break through the crowd. The men quickly get to the gang members, dragging them away from the two boys, which are lying on the hard ground. The females crouch down next to them, trying to determine the injuries. 

It all happens like in slow-motion. Donghyuck is aware of the crowd dissipating around him. He’s aware of the hand belonging to either Jeno or Renjun on his shoulder in support, he’s aware of the fact that one of the teachers is calling an ambulance but all he can do is stare at Mark, frozen in his spot. 

The older boy finally lifts his hands off his face, realising he’s safe now and there are no tears on his face, they’re only hiding in the corners of his beautiful dark eyes. He finally notices Donghyuck and their gazes lock for a long moment until everything blurs when Donghyuck finally lets himself cry. 

It feels like they’re both his Mark’s tears. Donghyuck is crying for them both.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It still continues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 is up!   
> Hopefully it starts to explain things a bit more  
> although I know it's probably introducing new   
> questions that need answering ;)   
> Once again thank you for all the love  
> on this fanfic, comment and kudos.   
> ALSO!!!! I almost forgot. Today I made   
> an Instagram account for myself as an kpop ao3 writer,  
> where I will post information about past and present stories   
> i write and updates on new chapter and a lot of other nice things,  
> so follow me if you want. My username is: thebeautifullove_ao3  
> Enjoy!

It all happens so fast. The ambulance comes and even though the paramedics assure the teachers that both boys seem to have no serious injuries, they take them to the hospital for a check-up anyway. In Donghyuck’s eyes, Mark seems much worse than Jisung; his hyung took a lot of punches and he doesn’t even want to imagine what happened before Donghyuck got there. 

‘They’ll both be fine, you heard what the medics said, Hyuck.’ Renjun speaks softly to him, holding the boy in a loose embrace. 

‘Poor Jisung, he looked awful.’ Jeno states out loud. ‘But so did Mark Lee... Why did his friends turn against him?’ He asks the question that’s on all of their minds. 

‘There is no point guessing, we don’t know what happened. Let’s just go home now.’ 

Jeno nods and they begin to move towards the exist but Donghyuck can’t find any words to say. He’s aware of the way Renjun glances at him worriedly every now and then, knowing of his mixed feelings towards Mark but not knowing that those feelings have recently become much clearer. Jeno doesn’t know anything and luckily doesn’t pay too much attention to Donghyuck’s behaviour. 

They walk together until Jeno has to separate from them, his home being in a completely different direction. Then it’s just the two of them and soon, they too stop to say goodbye to each other, going in different ways. 

‘You’re worried.’ Renjun states and Donghyuck nods weakly. ‘If you want to take some time alone today, we can have our dinner another day...’ 

‘No.’ Donghyuck stops his friend. ‘I’ll be there. I’m okay.’ Donghyuck smiles as best as he can. He doesn’t spend the evening alone in his room. 

They hug for the last time and separate. Donghyuck is nearly at his house when he pulls out his phone and calls a cab. 

He just can’t go home. There is too much on his mind and if he doesn’t get answers, he won’t be able to stop thinking even more. And he just really wants to see Mark. Just to make sure he’s really okay. 

*** 

‘So, you’re saying you’re a friend?’ The nurse gives him a long look, he nods. ‘What’s the name of the patient?’ 

‘Mark Lee.’ Donghyuck replies automatically and she tilts her head, scrunching her brows. 

The nurse types into the computer but after a few seconds looks back at Donghyuck, shaking her head. ‘Nothing comes up. Is your friend a foreigner?’ 

The boy looks at her like she’s suddenly grown another head. ‘Umm...’ He can tell she’s getting a bit frustrated at this point but Donghyuck tries not to pay attention and thinks for a long moment. 

Sure, Mark is his English name but Donghyuck doesn’t know if he has a Korean name at all. He starts to doubt everything he knows about the other boy and suddenly, in the busy hospital reception he realises he doesn’t know all that much about Mark. He thinks of the other’s voice, the slight accent that the boy must have gotten from living in Canada but Donghyuck never thought much about it except that it’s a cute addition to how Mark speaks. 

‘Look, I’m sorry, I don’t know that much about him but I really need to see him. He was taken to the hospital from Gangnam High School few hours ago, along with another boy named Park Jisung.’ The middle-aged woman listens patiently then nods finally, asking him to wait a moment. 

She calls some other department, explains the situation, thanks the person on the other end of the call and turns back to her computer, typing again. 

‘Two boys were admitted today indeed, outpatient's unit.’ She recites calmly. ‘Park Jisung and Lee Minhyung. I’m assuming you’re looking for the latter?’ She glances at the boy in front of her. 

However, Donghyuck is looking somewhere above her head, mind miles away. ‘Minhyung...’ He whispers to himself and smiles lightly. 

The nurse just sighs and offers him a piece of paper. ‘Second floor then right, all the way until the end of the corridor. Room number twenty-eight.’ 

He wakes up from his daze and thanks her quickly, slightly embarrassed. He follows the directions, passes by nurses and doctors, visitors and patients, breathing in the chemical hospital smell. Soon he stands by the door with number twenty-eight staring right back at him. His heart jumps suddenly, he grows nervous. 

The door is ajar and through it, Donghyuck can see a white wall, window and a bedside table. It’s seems quiet inside. Gathering his courage, he knocks on the door and pushes it further open without waiting for an answer. 

Taking two hesitant steps inside, he then stops again and looks at Mark, who is laying in the bed, all white sheets around him and only the reds and purples of his cuts and bruises and the black of his messy hair. 

The older boy looks at him with soft, tired and slightly surprised look then smiles a little and something breaks in Donghyuck. Something breaks like a dam and the river water flows freely without any barriers. Some new feeling flows in his chest and he feels strangely emotional but unable to identify what that emotion is. 

‘Haechannie.’ 

He walks quickly towards the bed, drops his backpack to the floor carelessly and grips the bars of the bed with both his hands looking down at the other boy. 

‘Mark-hyung.’ He sounds breathless, running his eyes all over Mark’s face like he hasn’t seen him in weeks. ‘How do you feel?’ 

‘Better now.’ He smiles so wide, Donghyuck feels like he wants to cry for some reason. Maybe from relief that the other is really fine, maybe from how innocent and pretty he looks despite all the cuts and bruises, maybe from something else entirely different, he doesn’t know. 

He instinctively reaches out to touch Mark’s cheek in a comforting gesture but he hesitates, not wanting to hurt his hyung and not knowing if that kind of gesture is okay at all. His hand stays few centimetres away from the other boy’s face awkwardly hovering in the air until he begins to pull it away but Mark grabs it and places gently on top of his own cheek. 

‘Why?’ He asks finally, his thumb stroking Mark’s chin tenderly. ‘Why did they do this to you? You’re part of the gang...’ 

‘Not anymore.’ Mark answers simply with an unexpected bliss in his voice and glint in his eyes. He looks relieved. Seeing Donghyuck’s confusion he continues. ‘We all stood in the football pitch, Yuta was holding Jisung down, so that he couldn’t run away. Johnny threw the first punch, expecting me to do the same but I couldn’t. I just stood there, thinking that I can’t do this anymore.’ He drops his gaze from the younger’s face, looking at the wall in front of him. ‘I suddenly thought about how stupid this all is, how weak I really am that this is the only way for me to feel strong. How fucked up it is that I’ve been doing something that goes completely against all my values, just to feel safe, untouchable. But I’m just a coward and it took me three years to realise that.’ 

Donghyuck looks down at him, with those familiar tears in the corners of his eyes but he doesn’t let them go. He’s stubbornly keeping them there. 

‘I refused the gang, so I got beaten up instead, along with Jisung.’ He glances at Donghyuck’s face. ‘This is nothing compared to what I deserve. I actually wish they would do more damage...’ 

‘Don’t say that.’ Donghyuck interrupts him angrily with his strong gaze fixed on Mark. Something in the elder boy’s eyes changes. He raises his brows in astonishment. 

‘Even after everything I’ve done, Donghyuck?’ This time the younger looks down to avoid Mark’s eyes. Hearing his real name for the first time from Mark’s lips feels weird. It sounds strangely serious and final. 

He knows that a lot weighs on his answer. Maybe his feelings are clouding his judgement but he’s so sure. At this moment in time, he’s sure he never wants to see Mark get hurt again because it pains him too. It hurts so much. 

He locks eyes with his hyung. The tears are almost gone now, eyes dry. This time too, it’s like they’re reading between each other’s lines. Donghyuck knows that under his words, Mark is subtly asking for forgiveness. 

‘Yes.’ Donghyuck sounds certain and strong. ‘Even after everything...’ He leans down and moves his hand from Mark’s warm cheek to his hair. It’s really as smooth as it looks. 

Mark looks at him with such an expression that makes him nervous and excited at the same time. It makes him forget all the world around them and find a new, better world, just in the darkness of the other boy’s eyes. 

‘You’re beautiful.’ Mark whispers like he’s sharing a secret. 

The seconds passing feel like hours when they seem to communicate without words. It strikes him that he can’t imagine his life without the older boy anymore. When did this happen? 

Donghyuck sits at the edge of the bed when his legs feel like they can’t support his weight anymore. ‘How long will you have to stay here?’ He asks instead because his heart is beating too fast, too wild. 

‘Until tomorrow afternoon, I think. They just want to do some scans to be sure everything is fine. I got kicked and punched in the stomach pretty bad.’ The younger grabs his hand in support without thinking much about it. 

‘Are you in a lot of pain?’ He asks worriedly. 

‘No, they gave me super strong pain killers.’ He gives a smug look like the old times. ‘I will survive, don’t worry, my sunshine.’ He still has the nerve to joke and Donghyuck sighs heavily, rolling his eyes. Some of the pent up the pressure and worry leaves him along with the long exhale. 

‘I should get going. My mother will wonder where I am.’ He stands up although he doesn’t want to move from his spot on the bed. Mark nods at his words. ‘Will you be fine by yourself, hyung?’ 

‘I won’t be by myself. My mother is on the way right now.’ He gives a weak smile. Donghyuck feels relieved hearing that. He begins to leave when Mark stops him. 

‘Wait a moment. Do you have a pen and piece of paper?’ 

Slightly confused, Donghyuck reaches into his back pack and pulls out a pen and one of his notebooks, handing them to Mark. He watches the other boy write something there. He hands it back to the younger. 

There is nothing but an address there. ‘What’s this?’ 

‘Address of a bakery, where I ordered a cake for you.’ Donghyuck stares at the older boy in awe. ‘I was planning on celebrating your birthday with you today when we meet but... well, now it turned out differently, but I hope you can still enjoy the cake without me.’ 

‘But... how did you know it’s my birthday today?’ He asks carefully. ‘I’m sure I never told you.’ 

‘Well, my mother’s friend works at our school. He manages all the student’s records. About two years ago, I asked him a big favour.’ Mark smiles innocently. ‘Don’t worry, I only asked for a date of birth, nothing else.’ 

Donghyuck is not mad, he’s strangely impressed actually, a new but not unwelcome feeling washes over him. ‘Isn’t this like... really illegal?’ 

Mark places his index finger to his lips, smiling a little but looking bashful at the same time too. 

Suddenly Donghyuck realises something that he was too enamoured to notice before. ‘Wait, did you say two years ago?’ He stands there with his backpack in his right hand, waiting but just as Mark blinks a few times and opens his mouth to answer, his mother walks in hurriedly into the room and runs to Mark’s side. 

‘Markie, darling, what happened?!’ 

‘Mum, I’m fine, don’t worry.’ He assures his parent quickly, holding her hand tightly. ‘I will explain everything.’ 

Donghyuck feels like he’s intruding on a private moment so he decides to leave now. ‘Bye hyung, I’ll see you on Friday.’ He promises. 

‘Bye Haechannie. Thank you for coming. Really.’ He replies softly. 

Mark’s mother looks to Donghyuck and smiles at him, only really noticing him now. ‘Oh, hello, darling.’ 

‘Hello, Mrs. Lee and well... goodbye too, I guess.’ He answers brightly although a bit awkwardly but she only smiles warmly at him as he leaves the room. 

He’s glad that Mark won’t be alone in the hospital. He leaves the building with a lighter heart. There is only one unanswered question that weighs him down. “Two years ago.” Mark said and Donghyuck tries not to look for any answers by himself, tries not to hope for too much. 

Perhaps Mark just misspoke, or Donghyuck simply misunderstood. Probably. 

*** 

Even from the front, the bakery in the heart of Gangnam looks very expensive. 

Donghyuck imagines someone like Mark Lee walking in and it all fits perfectly in his head. His Gucci bomber jacket on top of his Vivienne Westwood shirt along with everything else he might wear, worth probably more than Donghyuck’s entire wardrobe. 

Feeling insecure, he takes off the cheap, thin jacket he has on top of his precious red sweater and stuffs it hurriedly into his backpack. He looks down and smooths the front of the sweater with his hand, making sure the Givenchy logo in the middle can be clearly seen. He fixes his hair too, just for a good measure. 

Upon entering the shop, it looks even better than from the outside. It smells amazing with all the freshly baked breads, croissants and other goods. He inhales for a long moment, closing his eyes briefly and when he opens them, the lady from behind the counter is smiling lightly at him. He smiles back and turns around to look at the gorgeous cakes on the display. They shine with fruity glazes, tempt with elaborate chocolate designs and entice with fresh fruits. Some of them have little labels next to them informing that they’re made for a custom order and therefore not for sale. 

One of the cakes catches Donghyuck’s attention in particular. It’s bright with yellow edible flowers and orange glaze in the middle. It has both chocolate elements and fresh vanilla cream. He imagines it must be delicious, definitely made for someone special. 

The lady approaches him when he just stares around the shop in wonder. ‘Can I help?’ 

The boy gives her a warm smile. ‘Well... my friend ordered a cake for my birthday but he couldn’t come himself to pick it up so, he gave me this address to do it myself.’ He explains, unsure. 

‘I see. Come with me, please.’ She comes around the counter and takes out a thick notebook from a drawer. ‘What’s your friend’s name?’ 

Lee Minhyung pops into his mind at first but he realises that this is no hospital. This is not an official document like the records they keep there. ‘Mark Lee.’ He says instead with confidence. 

After a few flipped pages, her eyes light up. ‘Ah, yes. Here it is. I remember now.’ She smiles wider as she looks Donghyuck up and down subtly. ‘So, you’re that special sunshine, huh?’ 

Donghyuck stares at her, not fully understanding. ‘Sorry?’ But he still blushes. Did Mark say a lot about him to the lady? 

She shakes her head innocently. ‘It’s nothing, just that your friend said the order is for the sweetest and brightest boy in the world and that the cake should be the same but looking at you now, I think there is not enough sugar and sunflowers in this world to achieve that.’ She explains in light, friendly tone. ‘Let me bring it to you.’ 

He still blushing from the compliment when he notices she gets the exact cake he was staring at earlier from the fridge in the display. When she places it in front of him on the counter, it looks even better up close. He can’t believe this is for him. With expertise, the woman writes “Happy Birthday Haechan!” with chocolate icing in the middle of it. 

It’s so beautiful and special, Donghyuck stares at it speechlessly and keeps smiling like a fool. 

‘I’ll pack it for you.’ She puts the cake in a nice blue box with a bow for him, then carefully places it in a special bag with the corners cut off, so that it sits there comfortably all the way home. 

‘Enjoy and happy birthday!’ She tells him cheerfully and hands it to him, informing that everything has already been paid for. 

Donghyuck realises that he hasn’t even thought about paying for it until now. He’s relieved because he probably doesn’t have that much money on him right now. If Mark wouldn’t have paid for it, he would have to leave it here, not able to afford it. 

‘Thank you so much.’ He bows politely and leaves the shop, steping back into the early-June sun. 

*** 

‘Happy Birthday, darling.’ The hug his mum gives him as soon as he enters the kitchen is taking away all the stress and pressure from his shoulders. He breaths out and relaxes in the tight embrace. ‘Why are you so late? I thought you would already be home by the time I get here.’ 

He wishes he could explain everything. He wishes it so badly but it’s too messy and he’s too nervous to even start. ‘I had to pick up a birthday cake a friend bought for me.’ He explains when they separate. 

He leaves the kitchen and comes back a few seconds later with the box he left in hallway when he was taking his shoes off. The brown-haired boy puts it on the table top and opens it carefully, revealing it to his mother in all its sweet beauty. 

She looks surprised at how big and elaborate it is with the fruit, flowers, chocolate work and expert cream piping. ‘It’s not from Renjun is it?’ She asks although it’s obvious in her voice that all she wants is a confirmation to what she already knows. 

‘No.’ 

Donghyuck’s mum doesn’t ask anything else and gets a big knife and two plates. When she gets closer to the cake, she looks down at it and scrunches her brows in confusion. 

‘Who’s “Haechan”?’ 

The boy smiles lightly, looking up at his mother. ‘It’s umm... it’s my friend’s nickname for me.’ He knows he sounds a bit different when he says it. A bit too fond, a bit too affectionate but his mother only nods. 

‘It has a nice ring to it.’ She sits down at the table and looks at her son who seems to be deep in thought. ‘You should have brought him home to eat with us.’ She gestures to the cake on the table between them. 

‘He’s in hospital right now.’ His mother’s expression changes to a worried look. ‘There is this gang at school. Rich, spoiled guys who think they can exert power whenever they feel like it. They beat him up pretty badly today.’ He tries to say it calmly but there is a somber undertone in his voice that he can’t hide. 

His mother grabs his hand and gives a squeeze in consolation. ‘And what did he get beaten up for?’ 

Donghyuck looks at the cake again for a long moment. The bright yellow sunflowers look almost real, so much hard work must have gone into making them. They remind him of the summers spent at his grandparents' farm. They used to plant sunflowers right by the window of his room. Little suns greeting him every morning and lulling to sleep every night. 

‘For being brave, mum.’ He sighs sadly. ‘For being so, so brave.’


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!  
> Hope everyone is doing well!  
> Chapter 6 and it's hella long   
> but I hope you like it. It's kind of   
> Jaemin/Jeno heavy as well. This ship   
> is more fun to write than i expected so..  
> that's why that is.   
> Thank you for all the love, I appreciate it  
> as always!

The following day feels strangely normal. Feels almost like nothing’s changed when Donghyuck goes to his classes. His heart is still full of happiness from yesterday’s dinner with his friends. It was like the old times; just good food and relaxed atmosphere, where they could all forget their worries for a while. 

However, there is gossip going around about Mark and the gang as soon as he enters the classroom but the brown-haired boy doesn’t want to listen. He blocks out the voices around him until the teacher enters the room and everyone finally quiets down. 

Donghyuck meets Renjun on the way to the cafeteria. 

‘The school is buzzing.’ The Chinese comments as soon as he sees his friend. ‘The gang has been suspended; I can’t believe that.’ He rumbles on, excitedly. He leans into Donghyuck a bit more and whispers. ‘Apparently the reason Mark got beaten up is-’ 

‘I know everything already, Jun.’ Donghyuck interrupts him. The other boy gives him a long look, so he just shrugs quickly. ‘As you said the school is buzzing. I found out what happened during the first class. Taeyong told me.’ He lies effortlessly. It’s a bit scary how good at lying he’s gotten recently. 

Renjun believes him. ‘Of course, gossip spreads fast here. I should have known that you would hear about it by now...’ They sit in their usual spot waiting for Jeno. Renjun still watches Donghyuck’s face carefully. ‘Why do you think he did that though? Surely, now he’s the target, he won’t have an easy life now.’ 

‘I don’t know why. Maybe he just couldn’t do it anymore and since we have only few weeks until the end of school, he might have finally gathered his courage.’ Donghyuck replies calmly, pretending he doesn’t know much more than his friend does. ‘I think we were right before.’ He turns to look at Renjun and smiles. ‘When we said he’s not a bad person deep down. I think I was right when I told you that I genuinely feel he’s a good person underneath everything he’s trying to pretend to be.’ 

In the silence that falls, Renjun nods with a small smile on his lips and Donghyuck feels truly light at heart, only now fully realising that he really was right all along. From the very beginning he saw a tiny flicker of light in Mark that he held onto. Even though he tried to follow his brain and stay on the safe side, away from the black-haired boy, he couldn’t help being swayed by his heart that told him to go for it, to swim with the current and see where the river takes him. 

‘Unless it’s a part of some elaborate plan that the gang is all involved in. Unless you are a target for something big that they’re doing.’ Renjun plants a seed of doubt in his mind. After a moment he sighs. ‘But I don’t think they’re that smart... and I really want Mark to be a good guy.’ 

Donghyuck looks at him curiously. ‘Why?’ 

‘Because you like him and as your best friend, I don’t want you to get hurt. I want his feelings towards you to be genuine because I know yours towards him are. I’ve known you for a long time, Hyuck.’ He smiles and puts his arm around the boy. ‘Now when Mark is not part of the gang, he’s pretty much powerless. He’s lost the title he had, so you don’t have to do as he says anymore but just from your face, I can tell you want to keep going there.’ 

It feels like that time in the bathroom, what seems like a long time ago now, when Donghyuck realised that Renjun just knows things sometimes. It’s like a sixth sense. 

‘I do.’ He admits quietly, sounding almost guilty. He looks down to his lap. 

He’s not guilty about liking Mark, that would be insane. One can’t help what they feel but he feels bad for having kept the truth from his best friend. 

‘Hyuck, look at me.’ Renjun speaks gently. The other boy follows the order. ‘It’s okay. Whatever you choose, I support you. Whatever happens, I’m here for you. I can tell this is important to you and I really hope it works out. You deserve to be happy and if it’s Mark Lee who can make you so, I will do nothing except be excited and happy for you.’ 

He doesn’t know what to reply. No words seem to be good enough, so he just hugs the other boy tight, feeling relieved and secure. 

‘Aww, what’s all this cuteness?’ They separate at Jeno’s voice. 

‘Hi, Jeno.’ Donghyuck smiles, blinking the last traces of the wetness, out of his eyes. ‘How are you feeling?’ He asks, remembering all the soju shots Jeno kept downing last night. 

The boy in question rubs at his temples. ‘Not the best but I will survive.’ He takes a long gulp of water. ‘In fact, it was for the better. Made me realise some important things. Mostly regarding Na Jaemin.’ 

‘Oh, really?’ Renjun asks without much expectation, having learned that Jeno is quite oblivious towards the whole situation. ‘What grand discovery did you make this time, Jeno?’ The boy asks with a healthy dose of sarcasm, biting into his tuna sandwich. 

‘I’m in love with him.’ He states calmly like he’s talking about the weather outside and Renjun nearly chokes on his food while Donghyuck stares at him with wide eyes. ‘I was so caught up in trying to hate him that I didn’t realise that I’m falling for him.’ 

In the silence, Jeno looks calm and sentimental. He must have been thinking about this a lot and came to a conclusion, accepting it for what it is. 

‘Jeno...’ Renjun starts but finds that he doesn’t know what to say. 

But the other boy looks down at his hands on the table and continues. ‘I know it’s okay for a boy to like another boy, deep down I know it but this is Korea, it’s not America, not even Europe...’ He starts to pour out his heart and the other two listen patiently. ‘Here, this is taboo, it’s wrong. You can end up like Park Jisung and deep down I want to be like him, I don’t want to hide who I am but I’m not brave like him.’ He sighs. ‘I began convincing myself and everyone around me that I hate Na Jaemin because I thought that it will make all those other silly feelings go away. I didn’t want to feel any butterflies in my stomach, I didn’t want to blush when he looks deeply into my eyes. I didn’t want it and I didn’t think I needed it at all but when he left, it all exploded within me.’ He looks up at the other two boys with sad eyes. 

‘Jeno, it’s alright.’ Donghyuck speaks first. The other boy looks at him with such soft, hopeful eyes. ‘It’s perfectly normal to reject these kinds of feelings when you’re not ready for them, when you don’t yet fully know who you are. It’s fine, it’s part of the process. Growing up and figuring what you want.’ 

It’s so clear in Jeno’s eyes that he’s relieved to hear this. He glances at Renjun who has been quiet so far. 

‘I couldn’t have said it better myself.’ He smiles and reaches over the table to hold Jeno’s hand. ‘There is nothing wrong with you, Jeno. In fact, everything is just right.’ 

The tension in the air dissipates along with Jeno’s long, relieved exhale. He pulls something out of his backpack suddenly. It’s a small white envelope. 

‘I wrote a letter to Jaemin last night. I’ve put all my heart into it and I want him to read it but I’m afraid he won’t accept it from me. Would you guys help me to convince him to read it, today after school?’ 

‘Of course.’ They both answer in unison and the black-haired boy smiles so bright, his eyes disappear, leaving only adorable crescents behind. 

‘I’m so glad, I met you guys.’ He confesses sincerely, which then causes the other two boys to suddenly get up and envelop Jeno in one, big hug, drawing the attention of some other students in the cafeteria. 

*** 

In the last class of the day, Donghyuck ponders about love. He stares at the teacher, who explains complicated physics concepts with robot-like mannerisms replacing the passion the young woman perhaps once had for the subject. 

It all seems so artificial. Donghyuck is thankful that he’s already very familiar with those concepts, otherwise he might have been in trouble for not listening. He’s already familiar with it because he had to answer some questions on this exact topic for one of Mark’s homework assignments. 

He takes this as a justification for his mind being as far away from physics right now as possible. Instead, he wonders how Jisung is doing in the hospital. Will he get to go home today too, or will he be kept there longer? What about Chenle? Is he by his boyfriend’s side? In truth, Donghyuck hasn’t seen him at school today. Would he be in the hospital holding Jisung’s hand? 

This in turn makes him want to be by Mark’s side right now. He can’t help wondering how the other is doing. Maybe he’s already out of the hospital, at home, in his room, in his huge bed... He really needs to get Mark’s phone number. Why does he keep forgetting to ask? 

Donghyuck shifts his eyes from the teacher to the window. ‘I miss you, Minhyung.’ He mumbles quietly under his breath. 

‘Sorry? I didn’t catch that.’ 

Donghyuck turns to look at Taeyong, who is staring at him with his big, deer-like eyes. ‘No, nothing.’ He shakes his head and the other nods, going back to his sketch. 

The brown-haired boy never took much interest in the other’s works. He knew that Taeyong never takes notes during that class, sketching random things instead but now he looks down in interest. The white-haired boy often draws superheroes but this Wonder Woman doesn’t look much like the one that Donghyuck knows from the movies. Upon closer inspection, he notices the striking resemblance to the science teacher, who is currently writing down a long sentence on the board. 

Love. 

Maybe that’s too strong of a word. Maybe love is the final stage. Maybe it begins with something so soft that’s barely there... A single look, a single word, single touch. 

Maybe. 

At the end of the day, Jeno looks nervous, standing by the school gates, the letter held tightly in his hand. 

‘Don’t worry.’ Renjun puts a hand on his shoulder. ‘We’re here for you.’ 

The other boy doesn’t even get the chance to reply when Jaemin and Jungwoo come into view, saying goodbye to each other and going opposite directions. Jaemin heads for the opened gates alone, unaware that there is someone who has been waiting for him nervously. 

Donghyuck takes it upon himself to approach the pink-haired boy first. ‘Na Jaemin, hi.’ He stops him awkwardly and the other looks at him curiously, then his expression darkens when he notices Renjun and Jeno approaching slowly. 

‘What is this about?’ He asks Donghyuck but his eyes keep switching between the brown-haired boy and Jeno. 

‘Jeno has something to give you.’ Renjun prods Jeno to come closer to Jaemin. Jeno reaches out his hand with the letter in it, shyly, glancing at Jaemin, eyes full of hesitation and hidden hopes. 

‘It’s a letter. Please, just read it.’ Jeno whispers, looking down at the white envelope in his hands but the other doesn’t make any effort to take it. 

He folds his arms on top of his chest. ‘Why should I? I think you told me everything you wanted to say that time in the cafeteria.’ 

‘Please, don’t be so stubborn.’ Donghyuck pleads in Jeno’s place. ‘He apologized many times and it won’t take much of your time to read this. If you still don’t want nothing to do with him after that, that’s fair enough.’ 

Jaemin sighs and nods. ‘Fine.’ He takes the letter and stuffs it hurriedly into the inside pocket of his denim jacket. ‘Happy?’ He looks into Jeno’s eyes resolutely. 

‘No.’ Jeno doesn’t break the eye contact. ‘I hurt you even though you did nothing wrong. I won’t be happy until you forgive me. But I hope that you will at least understand my reasons after you read the letter.’ 

Something changes in Jaemin’s eyes then. His whole posture changes too; shoulders drop, eyes begin to shine with some different, gentle emotion while they keep staring at each other, forgetting the whole world around them. 

Donghyuck feels like he’s interrupting something incredibly intimate, he takes a step back. 

‘I’ll read it.’ Jaemin promises, almost whispering. 

Jeno nods and smiles lightly. ‘Thank you.’ His voice, too, is barely above a whisper, turning slowly to walk away. 

He can’t help turning back to look behind him again when they’re almost at the gates to check if the pink-haired boy is still there. He is, staring after Jeno’s disappearing silhouette. 

*** 

The time couldn’t come soon enough. This Friday seemed the longest out of all the Fridays he’s ever lived through. All day he couldn’t wait for classes to end, couldn’t wait for the school gates to open. With unmistaken longing feeling in his chest he stands at the door. 

The house was empty when one of the maids let him in; he worried for Mark being there alone all day in his room but the lady assured him that he was well looked after, explaining in her best Korean. 

Donghyuck feels nervous. More so than that day at the hospital. Mark made it clear many times that he doesn’t have to keep coming, especially after what happened two days ago. He remembers dreading coming to this place, that first week replays in his head. He just wanted to go home and now he’s standing here, fist in the air, ready to knock, heart pounding in anticipation. There is also worry, which is another emotion he couldn’t imagine himself feeling back then. 

‘Come in.’ Deja-vu hits Donghyuck suddenly but then he enters the room and the sentiment vanishes just as fast as it came. 

‘Hi, hyung.’ He breathes in the familiar scent of the room and takes in the sight of Mark on his bed, under a blanket with a book in his hands. 

Mark smiles like the other boy is the best thing he’s seen all month. ‘You came.’ 

‘Of course.’ He smiles brightly in return. ‘It’s Friday today.’ Donghyuck states like it’s something obvious. The older boy chuckles at that. It feels natural. It feels like coming home. ‘So, what’s the title of today’s homework?’ 

The black-haired boy puts his book away. ‘I don’t have one today.’ He thinks for a long moment. ‘How about: ”I missed you, my sunshine, so come and brighten up my world.”’ He reaches out his arms. 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. ‘That’s the best you can come up with?’ He shakes his head playfully. ‘You lost your touch, hyung.’ They both end up laughing. 

Yet still Donghyuck comes closer to the bed and looks seriously at the other boy. He takes in the nasty cuts and bruises that begin to turn blue, grey and yellow at the edges. 

‘How are you feeling today?’ Donghyuck asks solemnly. 

Mark gestures for him to sit on the bed and Donghyuck climbs on it carefully, sitting close with his legs crossed, waiting for the reply. 

‘I’m fine, really.’ He assures confidently. ‘The pain is not so bad anymore. They told me I was lucky and no bones are broken and all my internal organs are fine too.’ He explains, looking super soft in his light blue t-shirt. Donghyuck was so used to all the fancy shirts, black leather jackets and the signature silver hoops in his ears. 

‘Why?’ Donghyuck suddenly asks. ‘Why do they do that?’ He swallows when his throat seems suddenly dry. He lowers his voice. ‘Why were you part of all this mess? You said that what they do goes against your values... so why?’ 

Mark nods and blinks a few times in understanding. ‘You want to know why and I’ll tell you.’ He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, not knowing how to start. ‘I went to live in Canada with my parents when I was ten because of my father’s job. It was a huge opportunity and he couldn’t let it go. I didn’t want to move, I had friends and all my life here but my feelings didn’t matter. Once in Canada, I couldn’t settle for a long time, the language was hard, making friends was even harder. After three years I finally managed to get used to it all, got a small group of friends but at that time, my mother found out that my father had an affair with another woman.’ He looks out the window briefly to gather his thoughts. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Donghyuck empathises in a small voice. 

‘We tried to make our lives there without my father who left us when my mother confronted him. We really tried but when I was fifteen, we came back to Korea. My father made a fortune in Canada, he stayed there with his new family but he made sure we have enough money, so that my mother never has to work again and I, too probably could live comfortably until I die with the money he left me.’ 

Donghyuck never imagined the other’s life to be so complicated but he begins to understand. So far it doesn’t explain anything about the gang but he knows the story will get there too. 

‘I entered high-school and I didn’t fit in. I was bullied by a gang of older boys. They made fun of anyone who stood out and I definitely stood out with my designer clothes, my backwards foreign name and strange accent that I got from living in Canada. I struggled a lot until a boy taller than me, with strong American accent approached me and asked if I want to join his group. He said he’s making his own gang to rival the existing one. He said that I fulfil all the criteria and if I join, I gain friends, that I will never be lonely and that I will never feel afraid again.’ Mark sniggers quietly to himself, shaking his head in self-pity. ‘I was naïve, I didn’t ask for details. I wanted all the things he offered and so, I joined, only later learning that once I was in, I had to follow what they do and couldn’t really leave. They were all rich but bullied and insecure boys, mostly born or raised in foreign countries. They had enough of being mistreated and turned into bullies themselves to feel respected, feared and powerful.’ The story goes on and Donghyuck doesn’t dare to interrupt. 

’It all started with Youngho, who paid someone a lot of money to threaten and beat up the members of the original gang. The way they used their money to establish their position in the school began this way. Paying the headmaster not to suspend them after they get into fights with those that oppose them and things like that.’ 

It all makes sense and Donghyuck can see how that might have been the case, especially in the beginning but now? Everyone fears them, so why do they still start fights? ‘Park Jisung didn’t oppose them. He never did anything.’ 

Mark nods sadly. ‘Well, you see, once nobody dared to oppose them, they had no way to show their power, so they turned to things like homophobia just to keep showing it off. It’s just an excuse... That’s why it’s so fucked up. I know for sure one of them is gay but is in the gang still just because he’s scared to leave, to lose the status. They didn’t know it will get to this point. And the thing is that once you get used to doing something, you kind of lose yourself in it. You just keep doing it for the sake of doing it, you know? It happened to me too.’ 

Donghyuck tries to wrap his head around all of this. He understands but it still comes as a shock. He didn’t expect there to be such a deep meaning to the backstory of the gang. 

‘You know why Chenle never gets beaten up? He’s in the exact position as Jisung but he never gets hurt.’ 

Thinking about it now, it seems very curious. ‘Why?’ 

‘Chenle is unbelievably rich, believe it or not. He hides it, not many people know but his father does business with Nakamoto Yuta’s father. Mr. Zhong could probably buy half of Shanghai if he wanted to.’ Mark explains. Donghyuck listens to the story with wide eyes. ‘They’re scared to touch him.’ He continues. ‘Chenle was meant to be in the gang, they asked him to join many times but he refused, saying that he has Jisung and he doesn’t need any other friends.’ 

The younger can’t help but smile. ‘That’s sweet.’ He adds after a moment of thought. ‘Jisung is so brave. Not caring what the gang does to him and always choosing love.’ He wonders out loud, his eyes stuck on some random object in Mark’s room, deep in thought. 

‘He is.’ Mark agrees. Donghyuck can feel the other boy’s eyes on him, so he turns to face Mark. They just stare at each other for a long time. ‘I’m really so glad you’re here, Haechan.’ 

Donghyuck reaches his hand out to touch the bruise on Mark’s cheek lightly. ‘Where else could I be?’ 

‘Let’s be honest, you could be anywhere you want right now.’ The black-haired boy leans into the warm touch, he reminds Donghyuck of a cute kitten. ‘With your family, with your friends...’ 

‘But I choose to be here.’ Donghyuck states softly. The older boy reaches out to take Donghyuck’s other hand in his and the younger boy moves closer, feeling like he’s somehow still too far away. ‘I don’t want to be anywhere else.’ 

Something changes in Mark’s eyes. They begin to glisten with tears and thousands of emotions Donghyuck can’t distinguish. He separates their joined hands and brings his other warm palm to the other side of Mark’s face, getting even closer, with his knees on the soft bed, right by his hyung’s side, looking into his eyes with worry. 

‘What’s wrong?’ 

Mark just smiles. ‘Nothing is wrong.’ He whispers but the tears roll down his cheeks nonetheless. ‘It’s perfect.’ 

At Mark’s tone of voice, something explodes in Donghyuck’s chest. Something that’s been hiding there from the moment the older boy approached him in the school hallway, proposing a deal that Donghyuck couldn’t turn down for many reasons. 

Foolishly maybe, he follows the feeling. He leans down and closing his eyes he kisses Mark’s cheek, wiping the hot tear with his lips gently. Then he does the same to the other side. He strangely loves the way Mark is looking at him so intensely. It sends his already overwhelmed mind into overdrive. Yet he can’t stop. 

So, instead he kisses the bruises and cuts, first over Mark’s right eyebrow, then on the left side of his jaw, then the biggest one that sits right at the corner of his mouth. He lingers on that one, closing his eyes again. He hears the sharp intake of air from Mark and the sound makes him shiver. He leans away but they remain inches apart from each other. 

‘I heard that if you kiss it, it will heal faster.’ Donghyuck whispers into the small space between them, as if justifying his actions but Mark just laughs quietly, adorably. 

‘Maybe try again, just to be sure.’ And the younger boy does. 

Just as he’s pulling away slowly, Mark turns his head slightly so that their lips brush against each other. Donghyuck pulls away, his mouth forming a small circle in surprise, all his nerve endings setting on fire within his body. ‘What are you doing?’ He asks, acting like he’s shocked. 

‘Just trying my luck.’ Mark offers breathlessly. 

Donghyuck shakes his head in disbelief. He moves his hands to weave them into Mark’s soft, black hair. ‘Luck?’ He raises his brows and smirks. ‘I don’t believe in luck, hyung.’ He can’t help his eyes shifting briefly back to Mark’s lips and it doesn’t go unnoticed by the other boy. 

As if in a sudden hurry, as if letting go of everything that could hold him back, Mark puts one of his arms around Donghyuck’s waist and the other on his chin, pulling the boy in and pressing his lips to Donghyuck’s urgently like he’s been wanting to do it forever. 

The brown-haired boy pulls at the other’s hair in a spur of passion, his heart beating crazily in his chest, kissing Mark back with all he’s got. The sun outside the window weakens, evening seeping into the room but they couldn’t care less about something as trivial as passage of time right now. 

They break away, breathless, insanely happy, the bright yellow blanket pooling around Mark’s knees on the bed, both kneeling, holding onto each other like they never want to let go. 

‘You’re so gorgeous, Haechannie.’ Mark is almost breaking down in tears again, emotional. ‘I’ve waited for you so long.’ His voice is shaky. 

Suddenly Donghyuck remembers their interrupted conversation at the hospital. “Two years ago...” echoes in his head. He sits down on his calves looking up at his hyung in curiosity and confusion. 

‘What do you mean?’ Donghyuck watches as Mark sits down too, right next to him. 

‘Do you believe in love at first sight, Haechan?’ He asks carefully. 

The younger boy doesn’t know what to say. ‘I guess, it’s possible. I never thought about it.’ He replies truthfully. 

Mark nods. ‘That’s what I thought too.’ He starts, looking deeply into Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘Then, two years ago, I was walking through the hallway on the first day of the second year of school, when someone stopped me. I turned around and the cutest boy I’ve ever seen was asking me for directions. His eyes were so pretty and dark, his sun-kissed skin was glowing and before I knew what was happening, I was falling in love.’ Mark laughs quietly. ‘You probably don’t even remember me. I still had my terrible blonde hair and a black face mask on that day.’ 

Donghyuck is speechless. It’s like everything he knew has escaped his mind. He holds Mark’s hands loosely in his own, trying to organise it all in his head. ‘You’ve loved me for so long?’ 

The black-haired boy looks to the side, seemingly lost in his memories. He shifts his gaze back to Donghyuck. ‘I’ve loved you since the day you first walked into that school.’


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!  
> I will be honest with you guys-  
> it's not one of my best ones but   
> I always struggle with ending fics and   
> I'm always unhappy with my endings for some reason.  
> However, I'm glad i got here after a long time,   
> at least I made it to the end, so I'm proud of that   
> and also of the messages this fic carries.   
> Thank you all for being with me on this journey and supporting  
> every chapter and giving me so much love!   
> I'm always grateful and... see you in future fics I guess :)

*** Jisung’s Perspective ***

Every time he walks into Chenle’s house, he’s in awe. 

No matter how many times he’s been here, the luxury makes him feel slightly uncomfortable; he thinks he looks so out of place here. Yet he’s come to know the place so well, he knows every room, every corner. 

However, this time when he crosses the threshold, it feels different. It’s the first time that he’s here as more than Chenle’s friend. It makes his hands sweat; he wipes them persistently on the best pair of light blue jeans he could find. 

‘It’ll be fine, don’t worry.’ The orange-haired boy grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen. ‘You know they love you.’ 

He rolls his eyes. ‘They love me as your best friend, maybe they will not be as happy when they find out we’re together.’ Jisung’s eyes are full of worry. 

Chenle opens his mouth to say something but at that exact moment, Mrs Zhong comes out of the kitchen to greet them. She looks beautiful, even more so than usual and her smile is radiant. 

‘Hello, darling!’ She greets Jisung, who bows politely as always. ‘When Chenle told me to prepare a special dinner for today, I had a feeling it was something important.’ She discreetly glances at their joined hands but her smile stays in place. 

The two boys come closer, Jisung presents the bouquet of flowers he’s been holding all this time awkwardly to the lady. ‘That’s for you, Mrs Zhong. It’s not much but I hope you like them.’ 

She accepts and stares with a slight surprise on her features at the flowers that Jisung spent almost all his saved-up money for. ‘They’re beautiful! How did you know that freesia is my favourite?’ She really seems to love the gift and Jisung breathes a small, relieved smile. 

‘Chenle told me.’ The older boy squeezes his hand in support and nods. 

‘Oh, of course he did.’ She looks fondly at her son. ‘Come in, the cook has told me that they should soon be ready to serve us.’ They follow Chenle’s mother into a huge, dining room. 

They sit in their designated seats while the woman puts the flowers in a vase full of water. 

‘Mum, where is dad?’ 

She turns around. ‘Ah, he might be a little late, you know dad and his devotion to work. He promised not to miss the dinner though, he should be here soon.’ Just as she finishes her sentence, the front door opens and a deep voice can be heard calling out in Mandarin. ‘Speaking of the devil...’ 

Mr Zhong walks into the dining room just as the maids begin to bring out the dishes from the kitchen. He greets his wife quickly before turning to the two boys. 

‘Sorry I’m late, it couldn’t be helped.’ He apologizes shortly before setting his eyes firmly on his son and Jisung. ‘So, what’s the occasion? We haven’t been told much.’ 

After a moment of silence, Chenle stands up and Jisung follows his boyfriend, both standing there, holding their hands politely by their sides. 

‘Since we’re now all here, I would like to... umm...’ Chenle starts then clears his throat. ‘Mother, father, Jisung is no longer my best friend.’ The boy finally spits out. ‘In addition to that, he’s now also my boyfriend.’ 

Jisung, who had kept his gaze fixed on the table in front of him, looks up at the adults in the room in worry, after a few seconds of dead silence. Their expressions haven’t changed much. Mr Zhong is looking neutral, only nodding twice at Chenle’s words and Mrs Zhong is still smiling a little, except now her cheeks seem tad bit more coloured than before. 

‘Well, that’s good news.’ Mr Zhong finally replies cheerfully. ‘Shall we eat now? I’m very hungry.’ 

They both sit at the table, ready to start the dinner, only leaving the two young boys standing there awkwardly. 

‘That’s it?’ Chenle narrows his eyes at his parents. ‘That’s all you have to say?’ 

The man looks at them calmly. ‘What else is there to say? I’m glad to hear that. We’ve been waiting for some time now, haven’t we, dear?’ He turns to his wife. 

She nods. ‘We were expecting that and well, we were also hoping you would be brave enough to tell us one day.’ She takes a sip of her water. ‘That day has finally arrived.’ 

‘Really?’ Chenle finally sits down and pulls Jisung back down with him too. 

‘Did you expect anything different, darling?’ She asks calmly. ‘We treat Jisung like family. We knew you loved each other probably before you two even knew what love is.’ She looks at them with fond, glossy eyes. 

‘Thank you.’ Jisung breathes out all his worries along with the sentence. ‘I was so nervous.’ 

Chenle’s father chuckles at that. ‘Nervous? About what?’ He asks rhetorically and leans on the table to get closer to the pair. ‘You’re a nice, kind boy. What else could we want for our son?’ 

‘Thank you, dad.’ Chenle is finally fully relaxed, Jisung can hear it in his voice. ‘Mum, that means a lot to us.’ 

They all begin their dinner, tucking into the delicious food in front of them. It’s pleasantly silent in the room for some time, only a clutter of the cutlery around them until the man speaks again. 

‘Oh, and Jisung, you don’t have to hide your bruises under your mother’s make up anymore, we know what happened at the school.’ Jisung looks up in surprise, eyes wide, instinctively touching his face. ‘I had a long talk with the headmaster and you can be sure, the gang won’t hurt you or anyone else ever again.’ He states with an authority that only now, for the first time since Jisung has known him, really makes him look and sound as powerful as he really is. 

‘Thank you, Mr Zhong.’ Is all that the younger boy can get out, deeply moved. 

He looks at his boyfriend, who smiles at him warmly. ‘I love you.’ He whispers in Korean. 

‘I love you too.’ Jisung answers back in Mandarin. 

In those eyes he sees the same boy he first met at a talent show in China. Back then, he thought he would never see him again but fate had other plans. Years later, he saw him again, struggling to buy food because of his poor Korean in the school cafeteria. Jisung ended up buying the lunch for the cute, stuttering boy, only few minutes later realising that he knows those eyes from somewhere. 

Some things are simply destined, he understood then. 

*** Jeno’s Perspective ***

On Monday morning Jeno walks into his science class without much expectation. However, he notices something is very different as soon as he reaches his desk. 

His new desk partner, YangYang, who was there for the last few weeks after Jaemin left is nowhere to be seen. He looks around looking for him as he’s usually early for class. 

‘Hi Jeno.’ He hears the familiar accented voice when he sits down at his usual chair regardless. 

The boy looks to the desk where Jaemin sat with Jungwoo. The latter is there as usual with his small, infuriating smile and next to him is YangYang. 

‘Why aren’t you here?’ He asks confused. 

The Chinese boy shrugs his shoulders with a small smile on his lips, mirroring Jungwoo’s. ‘Jaemin said that things are going back to the way they were before.’ 

Jeno opens his mouth in confusion but nothing comes out. The lesson is nearly starting but the seat next to him is still empty and his head is full of questions. 

Just as the teacher begins his lecture, the familiar mop of pink hair appears along with the slender body of the boy. Jeno’s heart begins to race, so he looks down and tries to busy himself with his notebook. 

The chair makes a screeching noise when someone pulls it away to take a sit next to Jeno. Even the sound of his breath is the same it used to be; the faint flowery smell fills the air the same way it used to before. Jeno remembers how he used to tell himself it annoys him and how he hates the scents and sounds coming from Na Jaemin but now when he’s here again, so close, Jeno realises just how much he’s missed him. 

Combined with all the recent discoveries and the feelings he let himself embrace, the scent and sound begin to drive him insane. He wants to reach out right now, he wants to tell him he’s missed him but he can’t even bring himself to look at the other. 

He’s aware of the way Jaemin takes out his books and pencil case from his backpack like he’s always done but he’s so quiet, so distant. 

Finally, Jeno gathers his courage to look at him shyly. God, he’s as cute as ever, if not more. ‘Hi...?’ He tries carefully and cringes internally at how lame he sounds. 

Jaemin looks back at him, raising his brows. He gives Jeno a long look. ‘I don’t think we’ve met before.’ He starts and reaches out his right hand for the other to shake. ‘I’m Na Jaemin.’ His eyes begin to glint with mischief just like the old times. 

Jeno smiles and understands what the other is doing. He breathes a short, relieved breath. ‘Lee Jeno, nice to meet you.’ They shake hands. ‘Hope we can become good friends.’ 

Jaemin smiles at him warmly. ‘I have a feeling we just might.’ Their eyes haven’t left each other even for a second and Jeno blushes under the intense gaze. This boy will be the death of him, he swears. 

‘You have pretty eyes.’ He dares to compliment, hoping to make up for all the lost chances he’s had in the past. 

The pink-haired boy cocks his head to the side and his smile grows. ‘You’re not too bad yourself.’ 

‘Jeno, Jaemin, this is not a café, you’re here to learn.’ The teacher interrupts them. ‘Can you please flirt after the class?’ Everyone laughs at the teacher’s words. 

‘I’ll make sure to do just that, Mrs Yoon.’ Jaemin answers the teacher confidently. More laughs follow while Mrs Yoon shakes her head and goes back to explaining the contents of today’s class. 

They both begin to write notes finally, focusing on learning. However, it’s not even a minute before Jeno writes: “I can’t wait.” on an empty page of his notebook and shows it carefully to the other boy, making sure they don’t get caught. 

Jaemin shifts his eyes from the small sentence to Jeno’s face and he begins to blush. It matches his hair and the cardigan he’s wearing on top of his white t-shirt. 

Jeno falls in love all over again. 

*** Donghyuck’s Perspective ***

It’s a shock to hear you’ve been loved for years. Quietly adored from afar, thought about frequently, maybe even fantasised about... The last one makes him feel strangely rhapsodic. 

They lie on the huge bed, side by side, aware that their lives are changing just by everything that’s happened in the last few weeks. 

‘Does it make it weird?’ Mark asks in the silence. ‘The fact that I liked you for so long and you didn’t know? Does it make you uncomfortable to hear that?’ 

He thinks about it for a moment, pressing closer to Mark’s side, into the comfortable warmth radiating from the older boy. ‘It’s surprising but it’s not weird.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘It’s strangely... nice.’ He can’t find the right words to describe what he’s feeling. ‘Exhilarating even.’ He looks up at the other boy to find him staring back at Donghyuck. 

‘Really?’ 

He nods. ‘Really, hyung.’ He makes up his mind. ‘You had two years to realise that perhaps it was just a crush. You had the time to fall out of love, to give up on it but you didn’t. It reassures me that your feelings are strong.’ He swallows nervously, placing his hand on Mark’s chest shyly. He finds the other’s heart is beating quite fast. ‘It makes me feel secure and treasured.’ 

The black-haired boy smiles at him. It’s so warm, like bathing in the summer sun’s glow. ‘I was so afraid.’ He confesses and exhales loudly. ‘I had so many fears and doubts but I knew I had to try. I couldn’t let you go, I had to try before we both graduate and I might never see you again.’ 

The whole situation with the homework is now clearer. Donghyuck has wondered a few times before why would Mark choose him to do it when there were equally smart guys in his year, who could probably do it even better than him. He never dared to ask. He never imagined that the reason was... love. 

‘I was afraid too.’ Donghyuck replies softly. ‘I wanted to believe you were different, that you were a good person deep down but everything you did along with the gang was confusing me, was hurting me. Even after school, in this very room, you were so cold.’ He recalls the first few weeks where Mark wouldn’t even show up until it was the time for Donghyuck to go home. He was alone in a stranger’s house, quiet and unfamiliar. 

‘I’m sorry for how I was behaving towards you. I know it was confusing and hurtful.’ He sounds so serious and regretful. ‘I had this internal conflict. I knew I had this certain reputation as a member of the gang but at the same time, the only reason I made you come to my house in the first place was to spend time with you, show you that I was different.’ He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. ‘It was crazy. I felt like I had two personalities and I had to keep up both of them somehow.’ 

Donghyuck understands. He can imagine the turmoil in Mark’s head; he saw it on his face and in his eyes before. These conflicting emotions, the frustration. At first, he was afraid to say something, then he decided to let Mark work it out on his own. ‘I’m glad you chose one side in the end.’ 

It’s getting dark outside now. Even though it’s summer now and the days are getting longer, it seems time speeds up when they’re together. 

‘And you?’ His hyung asks, unsure. ‘You know about my feelings for you but what about you? What do you feel for me, Haechan?’ 

The younger looks away from his eyes to focus on some other meaningless spot of the room to gather his thoughts. 

And Donghyuck? 

He takes the time to analyse his thoughts and feelings. He’s not yet in love with the older boy, he knows that. Yet he also knows, he’s strangely certain he’s on the path leading him there. He’s not really falling in love with Mark; “falling” is not the right word. If anything, he’s “walking” towards love. He’s aware of the steps he’s taking; choosing to go down that road. He’s come to realise that all the roads he walks, somehow always end up taking him to where Mark is. 

‘Me?’ He looks at Mark again, then slowly sits up on the bed, looking down at the other intensely. ‘What do you think, hyung?’ He leans down, supporting his weight with his right hand on the bed by Mark’s head and the other he places lightly on the side of the boy’s neck, fingertips lightly touching the tender, warm skin there. ‘I keep coming to see you, I go against my rational thoughts and follow my heart, I want to know you better, I kiss you back like I’ll never get the chance to do it again.’ He purposely leans down even more and presses his lips softly, briefly to Mark’s for emphasis. ‘What do you think?’ He whispers, still so close that their lips brush when Donghyucks speaks. 

When he pulls back a bit further away, the older boy looks at him with such enamoured expression, every cell in his body reacts at the sight. 

He’s found them. The answers to all those questions he’s had. He kept the promise he made to himself before too: by the time summer came around, he found out who Mark Lee really is. 

It turns out he is a good guy. With morals and heart in the right place. He went through a lot in his life, more than Donghyuck could ever expect. He got lost on the way to becoming who he really is but he found himself in the end. That’s what really counts. 

But then again, they say that without getting lost first you can’t truly ever find yourself. 

*** 

“Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important.” - Marl Manson


End file.
